Spontaneity in Marriage

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El and I discuss our spontaneous date night! And we want to hear from you. How spontaneous are you in your relationship? Share those moments with us below.

the one that got away...

Picture courtesy of Keith Jefferson Photos

Have you ever thought about your past relationships and wondered about "the one that got away"? You know, the one boyfriend or girlfriend that you wish you pursued or treated better? That one special person that you wonder what if...? 


Well I was thinking about "the one that might have got away". El, my husband. I was thinking about the what ifs... 

Picture courtesy of Keith Jefferson Photos

What if I didn't tell him he could call me? What if I didn't spend spring break with him? What if I didn't visit his job or go to lunch with him that day? What if I didn't have him over my house several nights of the week? What if I didn't meet his friends and family? What if I didn't let him meet my friends and family? What if I didn't accept his offer to be his girlfriend? What if I didn't move in with him? What if I didn't marry him? What if I walked away in the beginning because we argued? What if I divorced him after he cheated? What if I didn't fall in love with him all over again ever day? What if...? 

Picture courtesy of Keith Jefferson Photos

I am thankful every day that I didn't let this one get away! That I trusted God and stayed. That I didn't let El get away. Is your spouse the one that you will let get away? Rejuvenate love today! Not just for Valentine's Day, but Every Day!

Valentine's Day Tips

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Valentine's Day is a week away! Make sure you are prepared! And women, the men in your life also want to feel special! Don't forget them.

Husbands as leaders in the home

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El and I attended a marriage conference on Saturday, January 30, 2016 at Longview Baptist Church in Olive Branch, MS - "Love Worth Fighting For" with Kirk Cameron and Warren Barfield.



El shares his take aways from the conference to help the men be leaders in the home.

Marriage Resources

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Marriage Resources that El and I have used (or using) to help you have a better marriage.



The Marriage Code (& study guide), by Bill & Pam Farrell

The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman

The Power of Prayer to Change Your Marriage (& prayer/study guide), by Stormie Ormatian

Love and Respect (& workbook), by Emerson Eggerichs

A Couple's Guide to a Growing Marriage (bible study), by Gary Chapman

His Needs Her Needs (participant's guide & video), by Willard Harley

"Still" Away

Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray. Mark 1:35. 

Anybody who knows me, knows that I am not a morning person. However, I feel as though that may not be the whole truth. I am not a morning person when I have to get up for work but I seem to be a morning person when I get up do something I want to do. Basically, it's all about what we want to do. There have been times that I stayed up all night and woke early the next day because I was excited about the what that day was going to bring. 

Jesus made a habit of rising early to spend time with His Heavenly Father. He was excited about what the day was going to bring. In the verse above, Jesus got up before daybreak and went to an isolated place. A place away from His disciples and all the distractions. I'm sure He didn't take His cell phone or laptop. He stole away to be alone with God. 

"Still" Away...
1. Be Still (Ps. 46:10) - God does not change. He is always with you even when you can't trace Him. 
2. Still Pray (Luke 18:1) - Even when you don't know what to pray for, just go to God and be still. 
3. Still Love (1 Corinthians 16:14) - Even if you have been hurt in the past, still love. Let your love penetrate hurt. 
4. Still Worship (John 4:24) - Depend on God for your strength. Worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. 
5. Still Praise (Ps. 145) - Praise God always! No matter your situation, imitate David, and praise The Lord.
6. Still be thankful (1 Thessalonians 5:18) - In all things, give thanks! If Paul can do it, so can we. 

What's keeping you from "stilling" away to be with Jesus? 

Marriage Evaluation

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Have you ever evaluated your marriage? We have evaluations at work to determine job performance. Why not evaluate our marriages to determine our performance as a spouse? Watch as El and I share ideas on how to evaluate your marriage.



Link for marriage evaluation:

http://www.christiancounselingofmansfield.com/resources/Marriage-Evaluation.pdf 

Did you resolve to have a better marriage in 2016?

Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson

The beginning of every new year yields itself to new resolutions. Sometimes we resolve to do something we've never done before. Sometimes we resolve to improve in an area that we failed at the previous year. Whatever your resolve is, El & I want to challenge you to have a better marriage in 2016. And not just this year but every year.

So, first what's stopping you from having a better marriage? Is it an unforgiving heart? Past hurts that have not been reconciled? In-laws or relatives? A demanding job? Children? Past relationships? Hobbies? What ever the reasons (or excuses), let's resolve to not allow these things or anything to keep us from having a better marriage. Well, you might be thinking this is easier said than done. True. Marriage is work. Hard work. It takes time and energy to make your marriage better.

Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson

So, the next question is are you willing to do whatever it takes to have a better marriage? Offer forgiveness? Reconcile past hurts instead of sweeping them under the rug? Resolve conflicts with in-laws and relatives and decide to keep them out of your marital affairs? Take a less demanding job or manage your work time better? Put your spouse before the children? Let go of past relationships and those hurts that accompany them? Give up those hobbies that take time away from your spouse? Again, let's eliminate those reasons (or excuses).

Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson

Finally, are you willing to spend more time with your spouse than you ever have before? Are you willing to just sit in the room with them and watch a program you despise but makes them happy? Are you willing to serve them by doing dishes even though you hate doing dishes? Are you willing to have sexual intercourse with them even when you don't feel like it because you know it will bring pleasure to them? Are you willing to be selfless in your marriage and love your spouse the way God intended?

Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson

Did you resolve to have a better marriage in 2016? If not, will you make this resolution promise with El and I this year? Let's show the world God's love by having not only a godly marriage, but a blessed marriage! Let's show the world how we hold hands in public. Kiss lovingly. Smile at each other across a room. Hurry to get home. Have date nights frequently. Let's prove to them that marriages are alive and well! That it is possible to be married and be happy and in love.

Let's promise to have a better marriage this year and every year hereafter!

Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson

New Year's Resolutions...

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Let's resolve to have better marriages in 2016!

1. Communicate better

2. Read a marriage book together

3. Attend a marriage class/seminar together



Tell us what your New Year's Resolutions are...



Congratulations to kee_is_unbreakable Kesher Dunn and her husband for winning the #ezdates challenge and $25 Visa e-gift card.

Laughter in Marriage

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Laughter is good for the soul. Proverbs 17:22

#ezdates Contest is still going on until December 31, 2015! Post your pictures on Instagram using the hashtag #ezdates

Contest Giveaway - #ezdates

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Giveaway! Earlier this year we challenged you to go on dates and post your date pics. As we close out the year, we are giving you a chance to win a $25 Visa e-gift  card. Below are the details to enter the drawing.



1. Go to Instagram...

2. Follow Zina @zhenry88

3. Tag 2 couples/friends in the comment section of contest post

4. Post a photo (old or new) of you and your boo on your page and hashtag #ezdates then tell us how you will continue to date in 2016.

5. Tag Zina (@zhenry88)



Contest will run through December 31, 2015. Winner announced on January 1, 2016



We are also giving away a $25 Visa e-gift card to Rod and Tracee Coleman for being faithful in using #ezdates!

Creating your own traditions

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A discussion about creating your own traditions that please you and your spouse. As the holiday season is upon us, we want to make sure that our traditions are not creating stress in the home.

Are you guarding your heart?

Photos courtesy of Keith Jefferson

Lingering eyes. Lustful thoughts. Long conversations with the opposite sex. Loving touches. Are you guarding your heart? Are you protecting your marriage from outside threats? Or are you wide open, allowing anyone to penetrate your heart and make you feel a certain kind of way? Affairs aren't always sexual. They can be emotional as well. In fact, most emotional affairs may be more detrimental because a deep bond has been formed. Affairs also don't just happen over night. They are developed over time. Over talks at work. Over coffee. Over drinks. Over lunch. Over dinner. Over night. Over time. And don't think that you are an exception. Every marriage is susceptible to an outside affair. If you are not guarding your heart and your marriage, it will be quite easy for an outside threat to happen. 

So how do you guard your heart? 

1. Spend time with your spouse. Spend as much time as you can. Dr. Harley from Marriage Builders suggests 15 hours a week. And don't think that you can't spare that kind of time. We make time for what we want. 
2. Pray together. Pray for each other. Pray for the marriage. Prayer works. But most couples do not pray for their marriage or their spouse. Pray that God will protect your marriage from harm and that He will keep temptations away from your marriage. Pray that God will make you both the spouses you need to be for each other. 
3. Be honest. Don't be afraid to tell your spouse what you are thinking or feeling. Make sure you speak the truth in love. If your feelings were hurt, tell your spouse. If you don't want to go to a particular restaurant, tell your spouse. There will be times for compromise; however, you need to be honest with your spouse so you will not build up resentment. 
4. Love them hard. Love your spouse with hugs, kisses, touches, sex, etc. Love them as much as possible to keep temptation away. Hold your spouse's hand. Give them long hugs. Listen when they talk by turning and giving them eye contact. Share your heart with your spouse and not with others of the opposite sex.
5. Go to bed together. Whenever possible, go to bed at the same time, even if one of you is not sleepy, still go to bed. Finish your TV program in the bedroom if it doesn't bother your spouse. But going to bed together keeps you from being tempted to search social media sites looking for someone to talk to. Going to bed together also allows you to spend more time together and build intimacy. 

Guard your heart. Guard your marriage. Enjoy the wife of your youth (Proverbs 5:18 paraphrased).

It's the little things!

El & I discuss the little things that keep the spark in your marriage. Romance doesn't stop when you get married. You should continue to romance your spouse and this is not just for men; women you should also continue the romance. A website to assist you in the romance area is The Dating Divas at http://thedatingdivas.com

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What are you thankful for?

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for what God has done and is doing in your life. It's a time to relax and celebrate with family and friends. Eat turkey and dressing and watch football. What are your family traditions? Have you made your own traditions or are they passed down from generations? 

This year, El and I will be spending Thanksgiving enjoying each other's company. We don't have any specific plans, unlike past Thanksgivings that were spent with family. We have so much to be thankful for; not just on Thanksgiving, but everyday. God has truly been awesome and we have to acknowledge His goodness! 

El is thankful for 

• God's grace and mercy
• me (his wife)
• and his son, CJ

I am thankful for 

• God's awesome love and favor
• My family and friends (especially my husband and son)
• and peace of mind

Of course this list could go on and on because we have so much to be thankful for. 

What 3 things are you thankful for this season?

The Power of Prayer

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Join our discussion about the power of prayer and how prayer is needed in your marriage.

Let us know if there are any topics you would like to see?

Anniversary Photo Shoot! 11-9-15

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Enjoy a few pictures from our Anniversary Photo Shoot.

Photos courtesy of Keith Jefferson [on IG - @graffitti_greatness].

Music courtesy of our son - C Ma"J"or [on IG - @cmajorslodownent].
#ezdates #godsunionmm #gummytc

Unequally Yoked

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[For those dating and the singles]

Are you listening to God's voice when it comes to whom you should date seriously? Are you living the life God has called you to live. Let Christ guide you in the direction He would have you to go as it relates to life and your future spouse. You will save  yourself years of heartache if you allow Christ to send you a spouse instead of trying to force someone to be your spouse that God has not placed in that position.

http://godsunionmm.com 

#gummytc #ezdates #godsunionmm 

It's our anniversary!

Join El and I in a discussion on how we've survived 19 years of marriage. The highs and lows and what we've learned. Stay tuned for pictures from our anniversary photo shoot! Coming soon. If you can't view the video, click HERE.

Another year... and this makes 19!

I love your kisses

You may recall the anniversary blog from last year. Well, today we are celebrating year 19! Wow, what a year this has been. I'm still in love with this awesome man. He's still my best friend and I still enjoy spending all my time with him.

There is no traditional wedding gift for the 19th year; however, my bae did an incredible job in the gift department.

Our family 11.9.1996

Our special day 19 years ago!

Our napkins from the reception

His gifts to me:

• New wedding ring - Marquis diamond ring with ring guard
  
• Sunday afternoon photo shoot (pics coming soon) around the city of Memphis
• Dinner 

My gifts to him:

• Two Titanium wedding bands
• 10 balloons filled with love notes (idea courtesy of Dating Divas)
• Dinner and movie
• Two cards 

Love is in the atmosphere! I thank God for my best friend. I thank God for another year with my best friend. I am so grateful for our love. I thank God for our purpose and the guidance to do ministry together. Thank You, Lord for giving us another year!

Dear El,

There is no one I would rather do life with. You were definitely sent by God to be my Boaz. Thank you for choosing me to share your life. Thank you for making me a priority. Thank you for providing for our family. Thank you for giving me security. Thank you for parenting our son. Thank you for being an awesome man, husband, father, friend, protector, mentor, and lover. I love you and I respect you. 

Always,

Your wife, Z (Your Schnuky)