Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Tuesday Tip #12: Remembering your first love

Why or how did you fall in love with ______? What made them so spectacular that you couldn't live without them? I remember why and how I fell in love with El. And it happened so fast that I wasn't ready nor expecting it. He made me laugh. He listened attentively. He made me a priority. He was helpful around the house. He wanted to please me. I remember how kind and gentle he was in the beginning our relationship. I wanted to be around him all the time. I wanted to spend all of my spare time with him. Then we got married. And some things changed. Life (our jobs, school, bills, life) seemed to get in the way and we didn't do a very good job at remembering our first love. Remembering why or how we fell in love. Remembering to laugh, to listen, to make each other a priority, to please each other. We didn't remember to be kind and gentle. Part of the issue was that we had a handicap - we didn't really know how to be a married couple. We didn't really know how to be ONE flesh. It took us almost losing our first love to wake up.

Remembering your first love may seem easy. But El and I have talked to several couples that seem to have forgotten why they fell in love in the first place. What made you want to marry that person? What was it about them that said 'forever'? Hopefully, you didn't just think that after "I do", you wouldn't have "to do" anything else because that's when the real work begins. Think about when you first met Christ? You were excited to go to church, read the Bible, pray, memorize scripture, volunteer, and help others. If you slowly drifted away from those things then you were slowly drifting away from Christ. Christ wants us in relationship with him. Relationship = the state of being connected, interdependent, a bond, alliance, linked. These things don't happen on their own. Our relationships aren't bonded by super glue. Meaning we didn't just set it and forget it. We have to stay connected. Just like the branch has to stay connected to the tree to produce good fruit; we must stay connected. This connection is the key. It's our link, our interdependence, our bond to our first love.

Remember why or how you fell in love with your spouse. And then get back to loving them just the way you did in the beginning. Make a list of things you used to do and do them again.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

After the Dust Clears...

I know that it's been a while and that I said I wouldn't be gone this long last time. Well life has just taken over. El and I finished and published another book, After the Dust Clears... a story about our real life battle and victory over infidelity. If you haven't read it yet, it's available on Amazon in digital and paperback. The book comes directly from the pages of our journals that we kept during that tumultuous time. I'm currently on my 4th book which I hope will be out next year. 

El and I have been busy and when we're not busy, we're spending quality time together. Our plan is to do better with the blog and videos. I just wanted to drop a quick note and let you know what's been going on. Until next time. 


Thursday, August 17, 2017

Where have we been?

Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson
I know it's been a while since you've heard from us. Well we've been a little busy, to say the least. El and I published our first book entitled, Intimacy: Growing closer every day. It's a couple's devotional to oneness. We are in the process of providing a video for every session and they will be released every Sunday on our YouTube Channel (GUMM Marriage Ministry). There are currently 6 sessions available at this time. Go check them out! (We're a little behind).

We are currently working on our second book which we hope to release later this fall/winter. We have a few events coming up; one of which is our yearly conference on October 7, 2017. You can RSVP now. It's free!

El and I have been enjoying life to fullest and experiencing true love in its rarest form. We are still mentoring couples and teaching marriage classes every Sunday. We are working several projects for this upcoming year so stay tuned. 

I hope we won't stay away so long next time. Let us know if you would like us to discuss any topics. 

Until next time,
Love El & Zina 

Saturday, December 17, 2016

My first ministry...

Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson
Let me start by saying...I love being married! I have wanted to be a wife for as long as I can remember. I knew the kind of wife I would be long before I was married. Even though I never saw a good example of marriage, I knew how I wanted my marriage to be. I knew that I would put my husband first after God because my husband would be my first ministry. I also knew that I wanted to be a good homemaker and make my husband feel comfortable after a long day of work.

My marriage should represent God's love for the church. Some people may never physically read a Bible; however, they will read my marriage. So when others look at my marriage, they need to see a good representation of God's love for the church. If my ministry at home is weak, then my ministry outside the home will be weak also. How can I tell someone else about God when the life I live as a spouse doesn't represent Christ. That doesn't mean that my marriage will be perfect, but it should exemplify a Christian marriage of love, kindness, forgiveness, and the other Fruit of the Spirit.  
Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson

What does a marriage look like when your spouse is your first ministry? 
1. You will follow God as you build a relationship with Christ by reading the Word and praying everyday. You will apply those things you learn from reading God's Word.
2. Make your spouse your first priority...by making your marriage intentional. Spend time with your spouse daily by talking and listening to each other. Check in with your spouse. Check with your spouse before you make any decisions. Keep your spouse informed.
3. Love and respect your spouse as Christ loves the church and the church reveres Christ. Speak kindly and look for ways to serve your spouse.
4. Pray for your spouse and for your marriage. Ask God to make your marriage stronger and better. Take your issues to God instead of gossiping about them. Ask God to make your spouse the spouse you need and to keep temptations away from your marriage.
5. Pray for yourself. Ask God to make you the spouse you need to be for your husband/wife. 
Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson

Your first ministry should be your spouse... not the church, the ministry you serve in at church, your children, your parents, or anyone/anything else. Having a relationship with God does not mean that you neglect your spouse while you serve the church. Make your marriage a priority. 1 Peter 3. Your marriage will be blessed and your spouse will appreciate it.