Convenient Christianity

Why are so many Christians or (non-Christians) turning to other religions? Or why do you think people don't take Christianity seriously? Maybe it's because we are practicing Convenient Christianity... you are a Christian when it's convenient for you. For example, you are a Christian on Sunday during church service because you know someone is watching; you are a Christian on Wednesday during Bible Study; you are a Christian when someone at work mentions they are a Christian too; you are practicing Convenient Christianity!

So when do you read the Word of God to have His statutes embedded in your heart? How often do you pray - having intimate conversation with God and not just, "God is good, God is great, let us thank Him for our food, Amen", or "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep..."? When do you practice Godly wisdom and are you able to be Godly in the face of adversity? How often do you witness to others either verbally or non-verbally? Do you have a real relationship with God; one that is not flaky, one that is rooted in faith and trust--where you believe God enough to not only save your soul, but also pay your bills? Where is your faith?

Do you pursue obedience to God or slavery to the enemy? Are you walking with God or running for the devil? Is God your father or are you the son of lies? Where is your loyalty? Are you a Christian; a child of God; joint heir with Christ everyday, every hour, every minute, every second? Or do you put on the mask of Christianity when it suits you?

Is this too much for you to think about right now? Am I asking too many questions? Are you feeling guilty about your Christian walk? Sorry to inconvenience you...

Are you working? (I Go to Work, Part 2)

Little did I know that my last post would end up being my mantra and that I'd be singing it even when I didn't want to. Shortly after posting the blog, I went to work and I went to work hard. Just a quick run down of my schedule: I work five days a week, teach aerobics 3 days a week & work out 2 more days other than that, attend bible study 1 day a week, attend church service 1 day a week, attend class 2 days a week (yes I'm back in school), cook dinner at least 2 days a week, study every day of the week (whether it's for school, Sunday school, marriage ministry, or hospitality ministry), conduct a marriage meeting twice a month, have a hospitality meeting once a month, date night once (sometimes twice) a week, pillow talk at least 3 times a week, wash clothes, grocery shop, and I'm sure I'm leaving something out... have I made you tired yet? ...I go to work.

I don't say all of this to make it seem as if I want sympathy. I say this to call your attention to the date night and the pillow talk. No matter how busy your schedule gets, don't forget your spouse. Everything in life is work... but your marriage is work also. I feel energized to get away for a few hours with my husband once a week. And even though I may be exhausted at night, the pillow talks are so refreshing and informative. It's like pulling out your PDA and reviewing your schedules so you keep each other abreast on upcoming events. Throughout the day we make it a point to talk to (or text) each other even if it's just a few minutes at a time. Steal some time for your spouse. Pencil them in your PDA. Make your marriage intentional.

I ask again, are you working? Now are you working on the right things? Break time is over! Get back to work.

"I Go to Work"

The famous rapper, Kool Moe Dee, released his third album entitled Knowledge is King in May of 1989 where the song, I Go to Work appears. This rap song explains that what Kool Moe Dee does (rapping) is actually a job, contrary to popular belief. In this song, his lyrics state that he puts a lot of effort into his writing; making the analogies between rapping and being a doctor, an architect, and a boxer. That he is very much skilled in what he does and if you think that this is not a job, think again, rapping is very much work for Kool Moe Dee. I don't write, I build a rhyme...And if it's weak when I'm done; renovate and build another one... ...You wanna know my occupation? I get paid to rock the nation. Very powerful words by Kool Moe Dee twenty years ago.

Well marriage is work... It may not seem like a real job, but it is. Parenting is work... School is work... Life is work... Relationships are work... Serving God is work... Are you working? As long as it is day... Night is coming when no one can work. (John 9:4). Anything in life worth having is work.

On your job, if you don't work, you don't get paid and you may get fired. You can't sit around and expect the work to get done on its own.

Being a parent is work. Children have needs at every stage of their lives. At birth they need close supervision and care. As a toddler they need guidance and love. As a preschooler they need nurturing and instruction. As a preteen they need sheltering and quality time. As a teenager they need guidance and correction. As an adult they need advice and a listening ear. Parenting is work.

School is work. You go to school twelve plus years, do homework, complete projects, write papers; only to graduate and do it all over again in college. But learning should be an ongoing process for the student as well as the person not in school. School/learning is work.

Life is work. We're conceived, struggle to get here, grow into adulthood, experience failures and successes, meet good and bad people, make mistakes, etc. But it's all a learning process and it's all work.

Relationships are work. You have to work at being a friend: being considerate, saying thank you, I'm sorry, are you alright, what can I do to make it better, etc. Being in a committed relationship is work. The relationship doesn't mature on its own. You have to work.

Serving God is work. You can't just be a pew rider. You have to get involved and stay involved. You have to come to bible study, not just Sunday service. You have to read the Word yourself. You have to pray often. You have to live Godly. You have to be obedient to the Word. You have to witness to others. Serving God is work.

Marriage is work. You can't just say "I do" and then "don't". You have to work. "I do" means: I do and will love you. I do and will encourage you. I do and will respect you. I do and will make our house a home. I do and will work to make our marriage a Godly marriage. I do and will accept you just as you are. Marriage is work.

Are you working? If not, get busy!
Gotta go ...I got work to do.

Common Courtesy

Hello. Good morning. Thank you. You're welcome. Excuse me. Please. Is there anything you need? How are you? I miss you. You look nice. I appreciate you. I'm sorry.

There is nothing wrong with a little common courtesy. We learned it grade school. We practiced how to be courteous and cordial. We apply it on our jobs. Why can't we use it in our homes, with our spouses, with our children, with our friends, and relatives?

So many times we take each other for granted and assume we don't have to be courteous because "they know we love them" or "they know how we feel". Your spouse does not know how you feel unless you show it. And what better way to show it than with words and deeds. Let them know that you do appreciate them for preparing dinner. That you are sorry for not calling when you were going to be late. That you do miss them when they are away. That it is a good morning every time you wake up next to them.

Common courtesy - basically the little things you do to make your loved one feel special. It only takes a moment.

Scenario One:

Husband: "Honey I just called to let you know that I was running late and that I should be home before 5pm".

Wife: "Thank you for calling. I really appreciate that. I'll keep your dinner warm."

Scenario Two:

Wife: "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to wash your gym clothes. I will try to get to it by the weekend."

Husband: "That's okay. I know you've been busy. I thank you for thinking about me."

Scenario Three:

Wife: "I'm going in the kitchen, is there anything I can get for you; another dinner roll; some more tea?"

Husband: "Oh sure, I would like some more tea, please."

Scenario Four:

Husband: "Good morning, beautiful."

Wife: "Well hello to you to."

Common courtesy. It only takes a moment. It lasts a lifetime. Safeguard your spouse's heart. Be kind. Be courteous. (Ephesians 4:32).

**It's also okay to use this courtesy with friends, relatives, & people who cross our paths. :)

Thank you.

Where is God in your relationship?

By now most people know about Carrie and Big from Sex and the City and how they finally got married after dating for several years, living together, being jilted at the alter, breaking up, and then getting back together only to finally marry. But where was God in their relationship?

Or how about the four couples that vacation every year together in Why did I get married?: Sheila & Mike (now the Sheriff, Troy), Angela and Marcus, Patricia and Gavin, and Dianne and Terry. Each of these couples struggling with their own issues and problems. Sheila and Troy with financial burdens and trust issues. Angela and Marcus struggling with trust issues. Patricia and Gavin struggling with forgiveness and power. While Dianne and Terry are struggling with intimacy and communication. But again where was God in their relationships?

Or what about the movie Boomerang, Marcus is the ladies' man, dating a different woman every night until he meets his match with Jackie and she treats him the way he's been treating every woman. With a taste of his own medicine, he sulks and finds true love in Angela but doesn't know it until it's too late. At the end of the movie, he eventually gets back with Angela and it seems as if they will live happily ever after. But where was God in their relationship?

Or what about the latest movie, Just Wright. Leslie Wright meets what seems to be the perfect man, Scott McKnight, until her best friend, Morgan, intrudes. Scott thinks Morgan is the perfect woman for him until he is hurt on the court and she feels as if his life is going no where so she leaves him. When Leslie becomes his personal physical therapist, their relationship grows. In the end, Leslie gets her man. But where was God in their relationship?

How about your marriage? Is it a story book romance? Did you have the perfect wedding with all the right floral arrangements and six course meal? Did you wear the long white flowing dress studded with pearls and diamonds? Did you adorn the finest jewelry past down from generations? Did you have on the designer tuxedo with the paisley bow tie and cummerbund? Did you have an outdoor wedding at Botanic Gardens at sunset? Did you have twelve bridesmaids and groomsmen? Did you set doves free at the end of the ceremony and ride away on a horse and carriage? Maybe you had the best photographer and videographer. You probably shared memories with friends and family in your big white cloth covered photo album. You bought several different outfits for each part of the wedding. You had five different cakes because you couldn't decide which one you liked the best. After all of this... after all of this... where is God in your relationship?

Was HE there when you met your spouse? Was HE there when you started dating? Was HE there when you moved in together? Was HE there during the proposal? Was HE there when you started planning the wedding? Was HE there at the wedding ceremony? Was HE there on the honeymoon? Was HE there while you were planning to have children? Was HE there after the children came? Was HE there while your were raising your children? Where is HE in your life; in your relationship; in your relationships? Where is God? Has anyone seen HIM lately?

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33) Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

Don't lose sight of God!

I’m staying…and you’re gonna love me

Veiled Tunisian Women

There was a popular movie out called: Dreamgirls. It was a story about an African-American female singing group (Effie, Deena, & Lorrell), striving to make it big in the industry in the 1960s. The lead singer (Effie) was slightly overweight, but had a gorgeous singing voice. As the ladies became famous, Effie fell in love with the manager of the group (Curtis). Eventually he decided it would be better if Deena was the lead singer because of her physical appearance and her ability to cross over to pop. He eventually fell for this woman and her status and replaced Effie. Upon arriving late to a rehearsal and finding out that she had been replaced by Curtis’ secretary, she became very upset and sang the very popular song, “I’m staying and you’re gonna love me.” However, in the end, he left her and eventually married Deena.

Similarly, a woman in the bible by the name of Ruth declared the same thing: I’m staying…and you’re gonna love me. The story of Ruth is one of the most acclaimed love stories in the bible. It speaks of a love that is ready to denounce all of the past for a new beginning. This story begins with a woman named Naomi who, with her husband and two sons, leaves Bethlehem (their home) because of a famine. They travel to Moab (a city filled with worshippers of idol gods). When they settle in Moab, the family is hit with tragedy as Naomi’s husband dies. After staying another ten years in Moab, the two sons marry Moabite women and then tragedy strikes again. The two sons die. Naomi is left without anyone to care for her except her two daughters-in-law. After hearing that the famine is over in Bethlehem, she decides to go back home. She begins her travels with her daughters-in-law, but then tells them to go back home to their mothers where they may marry again and live joyful lives. Orpah decides to go, but Ruth is determined to stay with her mother-in-law; as she states in Ruth 1:16: “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” She also goes on to say that wherever Naomi is buried, she wants to be buried there also. Ruth is denouncing her family, friends, and everything she has ever known to be with Naomi and her God. After years of worshipping idol gods, Ruth decides that Naomi’s God is with who she wants to be. “I’m staying…and you’re gonna love me.

How many of us are willing to stay with God no matter what? In sickness and in health? In riches or poverty? For better or for worse? Are we with God when times seem hard? Are we with God when it seems as if He is not with us? Are we staying…and know that He is gonna love us?

What about your spouse? Are you staying and making them love you? Are you trying to be the spouse God has called you to be? Are you with your spouse in bad and good times? In sickness and in health? In richness and poverty? For better or for worse? And think about that for a moment…it’s easy to be there for the health, richness, and better. But what about the sickness, poverty, and worse? Are you caring for them, supporting them, and being kind to them? Are you being loving and respectful? Are you staying? And are they gonna love you?

Why can’t we get it right?

What’s wrong with Christians that we always seem to go astray? Why do we continually go to church praising the roof off while we’re there only to walk out the door and curse somebody in the parking lot? Why do we pretend that we love God; but act like we don’t know Him at work? Why do we constantly backbite and gossip about others instead of helping them to be better? Why are our marriages failing almost as quickly as the world’s? Why aren’t we willing to work on the marriage that God has designed and ordained? Why are we so quick to throw in the towel; only to be bitter and lonely? Why can’t we get it right?

In every walk of life, there appears to be an instructional manual on how to build, construct, repair, and maintain. When you buy any equipment from the store, such as a bookcase, a table, a lawn mower, a bar-b-que grill, etc. there is an instructional manual. The manual tells you how many pieces came with the item and how the pieces fit together. The manual tells you approximately how long it will take to put the item together. The manual gives you phone numbers to call if you have any questions or problems with the items you’ve bought. The manual even gives you instructions on where to return the items if any pieces are missing and where to order additional pieces. When you buy a car, there is an instructional manual in the glove department. This manual tells you how often to get the oil change, where all the secret compartments are located, and how the car works. When a woman becomes pregnant, there is a manual that tells her what to expect during her pregnancy, how long she will be pregnant, what will happen during each stage of pregnancy, what to expect during labor and during the healing process after the baby is born. When the baby is born there is another manual that tells her how to care for the child; what things to expect during the first six weeks, how the child’s schedule will differ from hers, what things to feed the baby, and how to raise the child.

Now I’ve said all this to say: when you get married, there is no instructional manual (per se) on how to be married and stay married. Everything else we encounter comes with an instructional manual except for our marriage. But God has given us an instructional manual; not only on how to be married, but also on everything pertaining to us as children of God. So if God has given us His Word (the bible) as our instructional manual, then why can’t we get it right? We have the proper tools: the bible is our paper manual; the Words tell us how many pieces (body parts) have come with the item that was bought (God purchased us with the price of His Son). There are instructions on how to build, construct, repair, and maintain. So why can’t we get it right?

Because we haven’t opened the manual. Or we haven’t read the manual. Or we aren’t reading the manual and talking to the Person who wrote the manual. We aren’t obeying God’s word. In fact, we have been disobeying God’s word for so long and on several topics other than marriage. We were so disobedient that God had to send His only Son to die for our sins! God did this to reconcile us back to Him. Now God didn’t have to do this, but He did. He is our Father. And what father has ever hated his child? Parents show mercy on their children and continue to love them even when they do wrong. Just as God continues to show mercy and grace upon us and continues to love us even when we do wrong. But the bible instructs us that our walk, our lives, our marriages are not about us! Everything that you do in life is about you glorifying God. Your life is not your own. You belong to God. If you begin to live your life as though you have given it to God, then you will be able to handle situations better. People won’t make you angry as fast. You will speak words that edify. You will stay away from gossiping. You will want to be in God’s presence more. You will be kind and compassionate. You will become more like God.

So when are we going to get it right? When are we going to start taking our Christian walk seriously? Well only you can make that decision. Only you can decide when you are going to stop playing with God and get it right. Only you can make the choice to be more Godly in every aspect of your life. Only you can get it right with your spouse. But let me suggest that you start today. Get it right; right now!

Lent

The season of lent begins on Ash Wednesday (which this year is February 17th)and ends the day before Easter (or Resurrection Sunday) April 3rd. Lent is a representation of the 40 day/night fast that Jesus endured. As we embark on this lent season; we are reminded that Jesus gave up food for 40 days/nights to give us an example that we too can endure fasting and be victorious over the enemy. (Matthew 4:1-11). During the season of lent; Christians give up something as a sacrifice for 40 days (if you count Sunday; it is actually 46 days). This sacrifice is usually some form of food: sugar, candy, sodas, bread, meat, etc. Usually it is something that may seem hard for you to give up. For the past 3 years, our family has given up our Friday ritual of eating fried fish at Cracker Barrel. But this year we've decided to give up something else: television. Not only do you give a sacrifice; you should also spend time praying and reading God's Word. This is very important-so you won't be tempted and also to continue growing in a deeper relationship with God.

How wonderful it would be if we got closer to God through reading His Word, praying, and fasting. Examine the closeness we could gain with our spouses by getting closer to God. Remember the enemy wants to destroy your union; don't let him. Build a strong hold; be victorious during lent and get stronger in the Lord.

If you haven't already started fasting; do it today. Make the sacrifice. Christ did for us.
God Bless.

Stubborn?

In the book of Exodus (starting with chapter 7); Pharaoh shows his stubbornness. He is unwilling to let God's people go after several miraculous signs were performed by Moses at the hand of God. God allows Moses' staff to become a snake, HE sends the plague of blood, frogs, gnats, flies, livestock, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, and a plague on the firstborn. Pharaoh continued to keep God's people in captivity; agreeing at first and then changing his mind when the plague was released. (When you get a chance, read these chapters in Exodus, starting with chapter 7). It wasn't until something really drastic happened that Pharaoh agreed to let God's people go.

The same is sometimes true with us. We are severely stubborn until God does something really drastic in our lives. We are having an affair, but won't stop until we are caught (and some won't stop then-if we think we can be smarter next time) and have the risk of everything taking away from us. We are not committed to our spouse; but more committed to our jobs. It is not until we lose our jobs, that we realize we've neglected our spouse. We are not committed to God and His purpose for our marriage; but our commitment comes and goes as we go through trials and tribulations and HE continues to bring us out. It is not until something drastic happens that we are snapped back into full commitment. We are verbally abusive to our spouses; but it is not until they leave, that we understand the error of our ways.

Why are we so stubborn? We know right from wrong. Most of us have been raised to have at least been taught that. Those of us who are Christians, we have a greater sense of responsibility. We know more than right from wrong. We know God's way is the only right way (even when it doesn't make sense).

The word stubborn means unreasonably or perversely unyielding : mulish : justifiably unyielding : resolute. Think about those words for a minute. Unreasonably or perversely unyielding. You have no reason to justify your stubbornness; you just are. Think about Pharaoh. He didn't have a good reason for keeping God's people. He had seen the miracles performed and one miracle should have been enough for him to let the people go. (Of course God wanted the Egyptians to know that HE is almighty and that it was HIM and not Moses performing the miracles - so there was a method to the hardness of Pharaoh's heart). But with us, most of the time, we just want to do what we want to, when we want to, how we want to, and with whom we want to. Usually God hasn't hardened our hearts; we just haven't opened our hearts to God completely. We're wondering why we aren't being blessed like we should; because we are stubborn. We're wondering why we can't hear God's voice; because we are stubborn.

Pastor Ray taught a sermon in Bible study a few weeks ago from Psalm 37:1-7. We should take heed to listen to the commands of God (not requests or suggestions - but commands). Specifically around verses 3-5; God commands our trust, delight, and commitment. HE is not asking us, God is telling us. Verse 4 - tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Well, most of us want the desires of our heart; but we don't want to delight ourselves in the Lord. And Pastor was explaining when we delight ourselves in the Lord, our desires WILL CHANGE. We won't want the same things we wanted before; we'll be in line with God's will for our lives. So why are we stubborn? I think that for many of us, we just want the freedom to do whatever without consequences. But the problem with that is that isn't freedom at all. That's the enemy's way and his way is bondage. Our freedom comes with doing it God's way. We have to dismiss all the things we've been taught about what makes us happy, successful, rich, loved, etc. We have to realize that happiness is temporary (it depends on what's happening); joy is what we really need and that comes from God. We have to realize that success is not how much money you make, or the car you drive, or the house you live in. Success comes from God and HIS standards. If we acknowledge it came from God and it's not ours then we won't be selfish with things or kill ourselves working to get things. We have to realize that riches are from God. They are not in our paycheck. Love comes from God. When we accept HIS love for us; we can then begin to really love others (especially our spouses).

You're not missing anything when you submit to God. Stop being stubborn. Surrender to God. Your life will be so much better. Let's not end up like Pharaoh. Stop being stubborn.

What can I do to make it better?

Romantic Rendezvous, by John Holyfield (jamesloveless.com)





Wife #1: "I had a really hard day at work. My students failed the test I thought they were better prepared for and my principal said I didn't turn in my paperwork on time!"

Husband #1: "What can I do to make your day better?"

Husband #2: "The car quit on me today and my check was short because I missed two days of work!"

Wife #2: "What can I do to make it better?"

Husband #3: "I'm tired of working outside. The temperatures were below freezing last week. I wish I could quit my job!"

Wife #3: "What can I do to help make your situation better?"

Wife #4: "I'm tired of staying at home with the kids. I never get to talk to any grown ups and the laundry seems to never get done!"

Husband #4: "What can I do to help?"

All of these scenarios have one thing in common: The response of the spouse. "What can I do to make it better?"

How many times has your spouse openly confessed their feelings and you shot them down with a negative response: such as "everybody has a hard day at work; suck it up"; or "why was your check short and why did you miss two days of work"; or "I'm tired of working, too; why don't we all quit and be homeless"; or "if you did all the laundry on Saturday, you would have this problem on Monday and don't you have any friends that you can talk to".

Most of the time, your spouse really doesn't want a solution, a smart comment, or a rebuttal. But they do want your sincere expression of love and care. When you ask, "What can I do to make it better?" many times the response will be something like this: "just rub my feet or hold me - I'll be alright"; "I'll get the car fixed, Tony knows this mechanic that will fix it free"; "just help me find my insulated gloves - you know I'm not going to quit my job"; "can you just help me fold this last load and talk to me about your day". Your spouse just wants to know that you got their back; that you will be there when times get hard; that you will love them unconditionally - even if they didn't have a job; that you will be there. Your spouse needs reassurance that you're in their corner.

So the next time, your spouse has what you think is a complaint just ask them if there is anything you can do to make it better. And then try to do it. If they say: rub my feet or kiss me or help me fold the clothes - do it. How much energy does it take to make our spouses day a little less stressful. With all they are dealing with in the world; let them come home to peace.

And watch out for their reaction. They won't be expecting you to say: "What can I do to make it better?" They may think it is a trick. But you will be surprised how your spouse will just melt when asked this question. Let your spouse know that you really care...

What can I do to make it better? that is the question!

Temptation

Samson and Delilah by Alan and Aaron Hicks jamesloveless.com

This week's Sunday School Lesson deals with the devil tempting Jesus after His forty day/night fast. Matthew 4:1-11. There are three things evident in this temptation. #1 - the lust of the flesh; #2 - the pride of life; & #3 - the lust of the eyes.

In our marriages, we have to make sure that we don't yield to these temptations. Remembering that God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear and that He always offers an escape. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13. Temptation is basically wanting to do our own thing; instead of being in God's Will and doing it God's Way.

Think about that for a moment...you are tempted everyday in every walk of your life. When you get to work in the morning and someone makes you mad; instead of doing what is right (God's way), you want revenge or to hold a grudge. When that handsome/pretty office assistant smiles at you (and you're married); instead of doing what is right (God's way), you want to get a number, go to lunch, or maybe even more. When your spouse is not being loving/respectful; instead of doing what is right (God's way), you treat them unloving or disrespectful-knowing you are to be obedient to the Word of God (Ephesian 5:33). When your children are seeking your attention; instead of doing what is right (God's way), you continue to ignore them because you're busy or tired. When your pastor asks for your tithes; instead of doing what is right (God's way), you think the money is going to be used for the pastor's new house, so you don't give anything. (Malachi 3:10).

How many times during our lives do we continue to do things our way and not God's way? Why is it so hard to do it God's way? He gives us an escape (1 Corinthians 10:13). His Son has already been victorious (Matthew 4:1-11). His rewards are greater than the world's (Mark 10:29-30). God's way is the only way. Let's not yield to temptation. We can still have a wonderful life without corruption and a sinful nature(John 10:10). In fact, we will live fuller lives doing it God's way.

Remember to keep your mind stayed on God, and when temptation is facing you - pray and seek God as a way of escape.

God Bless.