Remember, I stated that other parts of our body can be injured and we can still survive. However, if the heart stops the body dies. When a person is comatose, they are hooked up to a breathing machine to keep them alive. Many comatose patients can live for years as long as they are connected to the breathing machine. There have even been cases of comatose patients becoming impregnated and giving birth to healthy babies. But once the machine is disconnected, the patient dies.
The lifeless marriage (or any marriage) must stay connected to God in order to stay alive. Once you disconnect from God, your marriage starts to die. Not only do you need to stay connected to God; but you also need to apply His statutes. God's book (the bible) gives us the tools we need to have the marriage God intends for us. The problem is that many of us don't utilize the statutes from the Word. Instead we utilize the principles from the World.
The Word says:
|
The World says:
|
Two become one (Genesis 2:24)
|
Two remain two – live separate lives
|
Naked & unashamed (Genesis 2:25)
|
Naked & shame – keep secrets/don’t be transparent
because you can get hurt
|
Don’t fornicate (1 Corinthians 6:18)
|
Sex is not sacred – sow your oats; test the waters before
marriage to see if you’re compatible sexually
|
Marriage is serious & sacred (Mark 10:9)
|
Marriage is not that important; if you aren’t happy just
get a divorce
|
Husband, satisfy your wife and wife, satisfy your husband
sexually (1 Corinthians 7:3-4)
|
Every man (or woman) for himself; selfish love is alright
|
Husbands love your wives (Ephesians 5:33)
|
Husbands don’t have to sacrifice – it’s whatever he wants
|
Wives respect your husbands (Ephesians 5:33)
|
Wives emasculate your husband – he doesn’t deserve respect
|
Think before you speak (James 1:19)
|
You don’t have to guard your tongue; speak your mind
|
Be kind and forgiving (Ephesians 4:32)
|
Hold grudges and make your spouse pay for their wrongs
|
In order to keep your marriage alive, you must refrain from following the world's guidelines. You have to stay connected to God if you want to be prosperous (John 15:1-8). Your marriage needs God! You can't do this without Him.
Here are a few tips to keeping your marriage alive:
1. Communicate daily - I can't stress this enough! God made us relational creatures (Genesis 2:18). We enjoy and need the company of others. In your marriage, your spouse should get most of your attention. No one or no thing should ever come before your spouse. Keep your spouse informed (of all things); be transparent (Genesis 2:25). Tell your spouse your feelings, fears, dreams, and hopes. And listen intently.
2. Spend time together - this should be obvious, but you will be surprised how many married couples do not spend time together. She has her own set of friends and hangs out with them. He has hobbies that pull him away from her. Spend as much time together as possible. With all the time you spend at work, caring for children, or other things, you need time with just your spouse.
3. Pray together - you will build intimacy with each other and with God. Take your issues to God and thank God for your successes. Do a devotional together. Share bible verses with each other. Don't scold one another on how little he/she may know about the bible, but share information to build intimacy.
4. Have sex often - sexual intimacy draws us closer to our spouse (Genesis 4:1). God wants you to enjoy sexual intercourse. In the confounds of marriage, it's all good! Sexual intimacy also lessens the chance of temptation (1 Corinthians 7:5).
5. Love and respect each other - Ephesians 5:33 speaks of husbands loving wives and wives respecting husbands. Husbands, ask your wife what you can do to love her like she needs to be loved. You may even want to have her take the 5 Love Languages quiz to find her love language. Wives, ask your husband how you can be respectful and ask him to identify times when you've been disrespectful in the past (so you can correct that behavior).
The most important thing is to apply God's word in your marriage and apply practical tools to help your marriage thrive and stay alive. El and I have to work every day at making our marriage intentional. We ask each other often if there are areas we need to improve. We pray together. We discuss devotions with one another. We spend a lot of time together. We laugh. We are transparent with one another. We aren't perfect and we still have moments where we have small arguments/disagreements; but we've learned to forgive quickly and often. We've learned to put God in the center. He is the third cord in our marriage (Ecclesiastes 4:12).
Thank you for reading this series. I hope you have been able to bring life back to your marriage. If you have a success story, please share it below in the comments section. We'd love to hear from you.
May God bless your union!
