Renewal

Renew your love life with your spouse. Make a date with your spouse. (and this is not just for the men - women, you too, can apply these tips in your marriage). Take your spouse to their favorite restaurant, sports game, for a walk in the park, or a romantic dinner at home. Let me give you a few tips:

Favorite restaurant - or any restaurant. Make plans ahead of time. Get dressed up. Invite your spouse with a nice little written invitation or a text message. Make sure they are able to go at the time you schedule the dinner date (so you won't be disappointed).

Sports game - if your spouse is a sports fanatic, get tickets to their favorite game and take them. If you can't afford the professional sports games; go to a high school game. Again make sure your spouse is available before you get the tickets. If you can't afford any game, plan to watch it on TV and prepare your spouse's favorite snacks for the evening.

Walk in the park or downtown - plan to go for a walk. Bring warm clothing for this time of the year. Bring a light picnic lunch, a blanket and find a quiet spot to sit and talk. Bring a favorite book (a marriage book or a poem book) to read to your spouse. Make sure the weather is not too cold and your spouse is available. As you walk, ask your spouse questions about their week, the day or what they are interested in. Ask where they see themselves in five years. What was their favorite date with you? What job would they love to have if they could work anywhere? What character from TV would they love to play? etc.

Romantic dinner - Plan a romantic dinner (don't worry if you can't cook - you can buy some food and serve it on dinner plates). Set the table, with candles, nice plates, cloth napkins (if you have them), wine glasses (even if you don't drink). Play some jazz or soft music. Dim the lights and light the candles. Serve dinner and talk about your marriage and love life. Concentrate on just the two of you. You might even want to slow dance in the living room afterwards.

Love your spouse. Renew your relationship. Show them that they are still special in your life. You should do this often. Renewal shouldn't take place only on special occasions. Renewal should take place at least twice a month. These are just some suggestions. Renewal can take many other forms. Write a poem or letter for your spouse. Run bath water for your spouse (with candles, cheese, grapes, etc). Place rose petals on the bed. Decorate the room with balloons and Hershey kisses on the bed. Clean the house for your spouse. Wash the car for your spouse. Renew your relationship. Love your spouse. They are a gift from God. Cherish their love.

Renew your relationship. Love your spouse.

God's Part, by Zina

Cupid shot an arrow,
aimed straight for your heart
to win love with a bow
was not God's intended part

He made marriage to be a show
for the whole world to know
that God has a love for His own
and through marriage, that love is shown

It's not about me; nor about you
God's love, grace, mercy, saving power
helps us deny self anew
and gives a fresh outlook of the hour

To cherish, honor, and forsake
A vow we should seriously take
for we make it in front of God and everyone
As we confess our love to become one
Do we truly understand what that really means?
Do we focus on God and use His Holy team?
Do we block out the world and their views?
Do we look to God for His Good News?

Cupid shot an arrow
aimed straight for your heart
to win love with a bow
was never God's intended part.

Weekend to Remeber Update

If you were unable to attend this weekend's marriage retreat; you need not to miss the next one. We have been enjoying ourselves tremendously this weekend, since Friday night. I do not want the weekend to end; however, Sunday is our last day. Thus far we have learned how to keep God at the center of our marriages, stay focused on our spouse's needs, make them a priority in our lives, and love unconditionally. We wrote a love letter to our spouses and I can truly say this is a weekend to remember. We shared, cried, and learned to love again.

Thanks to Familylife.com/weekend

Love as an action

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Love is an action, not a feeling. God loved the world - and in loving the world, He did something: gave! And not only did He just give something; He gave His ONLY unique Son (Jesus). That we might be saved. However, we are saved only if we believe.

So if God loves by action; we also should love by action. How many times have you told your spouse you love them? What was their reaction? In the beginning, it was probably cute, sweet, and a cozy feeling was felt. But as time went on, just saying I love you, gets old. Let me give you a few examples. A man beats his wife and then apologizes and says: "You know I love you." A spouse commits adultery over and over, but then claims that they are sorry and they love their partner. A woman spends all of her time away from home, but tells her husband: "I love you, baby."

"What do you know about love? What could you possibly know about love? You know, I'm sick and tired of men using love as if it's some disease you just catch. Love should have brought your *** home last night." (Boomerang)

I'm sick of tired of us throwing that word love around. Love is more than words. Love is an action. How do you show love? Go back to the first blog post. I listed several ways to show love by finding your spouses' love language and then speaking it. I'm revisiting love because God is love. 1 John 4:16: And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

Even when you examine the book, The Love Dare, by Kendrick; he gives a 40 day challenge to show love by doing something everyday. When you get a chance, go see the movie: Fireproof (it is only playing at the Cordova cinema in Memphis), but the movie gives you a glimpse of a failed marriage that seems irreparable until one spouse takes the love dare.

The challenge to love is loving someone when they don't show you love in return. As humans we base our love on conditions (and this should not be the case). This means that I will love you if you look good. Or I will love you if you have money. Or I will love you if you love me. We should have agape love. Unconditional love; the kind of love that says I will love you no matter what! I will love you even when you don't look good. Or I will love you when you don't have money. Or I will love you even if you don't love me back. I can't explain why I love you, I just do. I just love you. Make love unconditional with spouse (no pun intended). Do love. Love actively!

Anniversary

Do you know what today is? It's our anniversary. November 9, 2008 will mark 12 years of marriage for my husband and me. I am very blessed to have this man in my life and although we don't and will never have the perfect marriage, I believe he is the man God sent to me and for whom I am supposed to be a helpmate. The Bible says "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10.

What about having an honorable, righteous, honest, and upright man? Those are wonderful qualities to possess for man or woman. So on this anniversary eve, I want to appreciate my husband for honor, honesty, uprightness, and righteousness. I want to appreciate him for loving me even when I am unlovable. I want to appreciate him for giving of himself time and time again. I want to appreciate him for his caring spirit and gentle heart. I want to appreciate him for choosing me to be his wife. I just want to tell him 'thank you'.

This day I will marry my friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.

Appreciation for our spouses doesn't have to happen once a year on our anniversaries. Appreciation should occur everyday. Never take your spouses for granted. Love them like this is your last day on earth with them. Tomorrow is not promised to any man; so love your spouse and appreciate them today. And for the record, love is not just saying the words, it is an action! So take action. LOVE!

Weekend to Remember Retreat

Don't forget to register for the retreat. Group code #18375. You must call 1-800-FL-TODAY. The retreat date is November 14-16 for the Memphis Hilton Retreat. You only have until midnight, November 4, 2008 to use the group code for the Memphis retreat on the 14th-16th. So please hurry! Register Today!

Selfishness

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

We've read it and seen it a thousand times. But what does it really mean? God loved us before He even knew us. God loved us even when we weren't lovable. God loved us so much that He gave His only Son for us. Can you imagine sacrificing your own child for a dying world that you don't even know? A dying world that doesn't even care about your child. A dying world that is ungrateful. A dying world that is selfish. God's love for us was the most unselfish act of all.

I wonder how many of us can be unselfish for our spouse. I petition every one of you to do something for your spouse this week. Something completely and utterly unselfish. Something that you would not normally do. For example, men: wash the dishes, do the laundry, cook dinner, etc. Women: take out the trash, wash the car, be intimate, etc.

Selfishness is embedded in our bodies, because we are born into it. We have to learn to deny ourselves in order to please our spouses. We also have to deny ourselves in order to please God.
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Romans 12:1-2

Do something for your spouse. Love them.