Are you wasting time?

How much time are you wasting? Are you spending your time arguing with your spouse, instead of loving them? Are you holding grudges for hours, days, weeks, or even months? Are you threatening divorce or separation instead of rebuilding intimacy? Are you wasting time? Tomorrow is not promised to you. Stop wasting time. Get it right today! 

Am I saying that you will never have conflicts? No. Are there going to be times when you get upset with your spouse? Yes. But let's resist the temptation to hold a grudge or threaten divorce. Let's choose to bless our spouse instead of curse them. Let's choose to restore the relationship on a daily basis. Let's give forgiveness freely and often. Life is short. Death is all around us. Just watch the news or view the paper...death occurs everyday. Do you want your last words to your spouse to be harsh or unforgiving? 

Me, my mom, dad, and brother

Have you ever experienced not being able to tell someone you love them before they die? Well I have. My father passed away when I was a senior in high school; 3 days after Christmas in 1987. I was upset with him because of the way he treated my mother. They were separated at the time and he was reaching out to me asking me to go to lunch with him and talk. But I kept blowing him off and I continued to stay angry. So when he died, I was not prepared for the wave of emotions that would come from not having the chance to say to him one more time: "I love you, daddy. I forgive you, daddy. You were always a great, father, but you needed help being a great husband. Yes, I'll go to lunch with you." He bought me a Christmas present/birthday present (growing up I used to get one gift because my birthday was in December), but I refused to meet him to pick it up. I actually told him I didn't want the gift and that he could keep it. After he died, my grandmother gave me the present. It was a small ceramic music box that plays the sweetest music (which I can't even listen to because it makes me cry). It was something simple, but he wanted me to know that he was thinking about me and even though he and my mother were having problems, he still loved me. So I lived with regret for years after his death because I didn't tell him that I still loved him and that the last words he might have heard from me were: "I don't want to go to lunch with you." This regret gnawed at my soul for a long time. I can never get that time back. I can never go back in time and make it right. 

Are you wasting time? Your spouse will not be on this earth forever. Stop wasting precious time bickering, holding grudges, or ignoring them. Get it right today. Choose to love them, today. Choose to live with them in this moment, right now, today! Choose to bless them every chance you get. Choose to go to lunch with them. Choose love. 

Imagine what your life would be like if your spouse died tomorrow. For me, I can't even fathom this thought. I can't imagine my life without El. I don't want to picture that. And for this reason, I choose love everyday. I choose to forgive everyday. I choose life with him everyday; not to hold grudges, not to ignore him, and to tell him "I love you" every chance I get. I choose to show him gratitude for choosing me. I choose to make our marriage a priority. I choose love. We all have choices to make. Are you choosing your spouse today or are you wasting time? 

Lord, I pray that we will choose love today. That we learn the value of the gift You have given us--our spouse. Help us to appreciate that gift and nourish it. Set our priorities on the right track so we are not wasting time on frivolous tasks; but we make our marriage intentional. Give us generous forgiving hearts toward our spouse and bless our marriage abundantly. Pour life into our marriage that our cup will run over with joy. Allow us to see our spouse as You see them and to love them unconditionally. In Jesus' Name. Amen.