What I've learned in 44 years...Part 1 of 2

I will celebrate my 44th birthday Monday, December 8, 2014. And as I reflect on the past 44 years, I wanted to share some things that I've learned along the way.


1. It's okay if you haven't quite decided what you want to do with your life just yet. I thought I wanted to be a nurse and so when I graduated from high school, I went straight to college bound to be an R.N. Well 12 years later, I finally graduated with an English degree. I then thought I wanted to be a writer; however, I was encouraged to teach. 11 years later, I was back in school again pursuing a counseling degree. My family says my career is "professional student", but it took me a while to hear God's voice and understand that my calling is counseling - specifically marriage counseling. But if I didn't go down those different paths, I wouldn't know what I know now nor would I have met some of the people I was supposed to meet along the way and have the experiences I was supposed to have. Pray and ask God what your career path should be in order to fulfill His purpose to build the kingdom. Then ask God to help you along the way.


2. Your marriage is not going to be a story book or fantasy.  I married my very best friend and when he cheated, I thought it was the end of the world. I believed the lie that Satan told me - because there is a tarnish on your marriage, it will never be great. Well, the devil is a lie! Not only is my marriage great, but it is way better than before. Do we still argue or have conflict? Yes. Is it perfect? No. But the difference is we have tools that we use to resolve conflict quickly and we forgive often. It's not a story book or fantasy marriage, but it is as close to heavenly as humanly possible.

3. God is Real and He can be Trusted! People say all the time that they believe in God and that they have faith, but do they really believe? Are we willing to walk out there when we don't know the direction? Are we willing to do some crazy, silly things because God said so? I haven't always fully trusted, but I've always heard His voice. There were times when I tried to bargain with Him and suggest other options; however, His way is always the best way! I left my teaching job after 11 years to pursue counseling because I believed God. I started a marriage ministry because I believed in God. He is real and He can be trusted, even when you don't feel His presence. Start every morning with Him and end every day with Him and see the difference He makes in your life.

4. The only opinion that really matters is yours.  I was watching an episode of Law & Order in which 3 girls kidnapped, tortured, and killed a 4th girl. Now the 2 girls who went along with this had a choice. They could go along (as they did) or they could go the other way. How many times have you gone along with the in crowd because you didn't want to be shunned or because you wanted to be popular? It's okay to have a mind of your own and be your own person. In the end, your opinion is really the only opinion that matters. You don't have to please anyone but God! Be yourself! Love yourself! And stand up for your beliefs, even if you are standing alone! If you lose some friends along the way...they might not have been true friends and you're better off without them. "Do you, boo boo!"

5. It's important to spend quality time with your children. Our son is 23 years and the older he gets, the more I love him. I get to observe him reading his bible and praising God. I get to see him appreciate his parents and others - never taking anyone for granted or feeling that he is obligated to receive kindness from others. He does the dishes, vacuums, cleans the bathroom, and washes his own clothes without anyone having to tell him (well sometimes). He's not afraid to

hug his dad or kiss his mom in public. He still loves hanging around his parents and is eager to tell us about his day. He doesn't mind the pet names that we call him (like Squishy & Pookiemon). He still gets in the bed with us and asks his famous question, "So what are we doing tonight?" He continues to make us laugh on a daily basis. He's not afraid to be his own person and stand up for what he believes even if he is standing alone. Spend time, real time with your children. Listen to them. Talk to them. Enjoy their company. They grow up so fast and when they're grown, you still want to be able to enjoy them.

Stay tuned for Part 2 - of what I've learned.