Why don't we quit playing?

Why are we playing house?

Let me explain. We are married, we live in the same house; but we are playing games with each other. You know it is really time to stop playing house. We are not little kids anymore playing with dolls, playing doctor and patient, or playing house. We are grown people and we need to grow up. We need to realize that our spouses are a gift from God. We are wasting precious time when we don't treat our spouses with love and respect. Again God commands us to love our spouses and He commands us to respect our spouses. (Ep. 5:33) Why are we not doing what God has COMMANDED us to do. When we don't do this; we are disobedient, plan and simple. There are no excuses. We're disobeying God's command. God wants our marriages to be successful and fulfilled. The devil on the other hand wants to destroy your marriage. The devil wants you to be unhappy, unfulfilled, and unGodly. Don't give in to the devil's trickery. Don't allow the devil to steal your joy. Don't let the devil destroy your marriage.

Put God in the center of your marriage. I know you have heard this before, but we need a revival. We need rejuvenating in our marriages. Too many of us are just going through the motions; we are not really living in God's Will. We are not doing what God has called us to do. God is not going to accept mediocrity; He wants your whole heart. He wants all of you: body, mind, and soul.

Quit playing games. Quit playing house. Quit playing.
Get real with your spouse and get real with your self. Do what God has called you to do, be real in your marriage.

Are you tired of playing, yet? If not, you ought to be. Eventually your game is going to lead to disaster and destruction. God is tired of playing with you. He wants His people to be leaders and set apart. Our marriages shouldn't resemble those in the world. Our marriages should resemble the love that Christ has for the church (an unconditional love).

Are you tired of playing? If not, you should be. Game over.

The Five Love Languages

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman explains your love language and what things make you feel loved. Below is my love language. If you want to know your language or your spouse's love language, click on take the quiz. Both of you will need to take the assessment to find out your love language. Then begin speaking each other love language. Love with action.

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Quality Time

My Detailed Results:
Quality Time:	10
Acts of Service:	8
Receiving Gifts:	6
Words of Affirmation:	3
Physical Touch:	3

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

The Devil's Trickery

The devil is always on the prowl. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10). The devil is very tricky. He knows each of our weaknesses and he plays on them. How can you protect your home? By continuing in prayer. And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint. (Luke 18:1). Not only should we pray, but also be vigilant. Keep an eye out for the devil. Be aware.

Don't allow simple disagreements to blow up into a huge argument. Take the high road, and calmly talk things out with an open heart and listening ear.
Don't allow too much time to come between you and your spouse; in other words have quality time as much as possible.
Don't let a day go by where you haven't spoken to each other. Everyday spend some time talking and listening to your spouse.
Don't go to bed angry, allowing things to fester. Resolve conflicts quickly.
Don't forget the little things. Be romantic. Love each other. Say nice things to each other daily.
Don't be afraid to be intimate. This doesn't always mean having intercourse, but sometimes it means cuddling, holding hands, kissing, etc.
Don't be afraid to be sexually intimate. Sexual intercourse releases stress and brings you closer to your spouse. (women don't be afraid to initiate sex).
Don't forget to say, "I love you". So many times we think our spouses know it, but it is nice to hear it.
Don't forget to show love as well. Saying it is lovely, but showing it is divine.
Don't be fooled by the devil's trickery. He will throw you a curve ball at you when you least expect it. And if you are not looking, you will fall right into his trap; and if you are not careful, you'll get stuck and won't be able to get out.

When the devil is on the prowl, just know that a blessing is somewhere around the corner. So don't miss your blessing. Shake the devil off and stump on his head.

Prayer:
Father God, help us to be mindful of You always. Keep our minds and hearts stayed on You, that You will keep us from falling. Make us the type of Godly spouses You would have us to be. Give us the tools to be all that You have called us to be. Keep all danger, seen and unseen, far away. Help us to love our spouses as You love them. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Complacency

Complacency. We all know the word too well. It is when we become satisfied with the way things are. When we let our guards down and say all is well and I don't have to anything else but what I'm doing right now.


Don't let complacency ruin your marriage. When you become complacent, you allow the devil to come in and destroy your marriage. We should continue to look for interesting ways to improve our marriage, rejuvenate the love, and revitalize those feelings of romance. Your spouse will be amazed at your efforts to keep your relationship fulfilled.


I am reminded of the five love languages when I think about complacency. My love language is quality time and when I don't get that from my spouse; I tend to get moody, irritable, and sometimes angry. In the frustrations of my feelings, in which I am well aware, I begin to feel withdrawn from my husband. It is at these times, that we have become complacent in our relationship and it is at these times that we open the door for the devil to come in. So what do I do when that happens? I simply (and gently) remind my husband that my love tank is low. He usually knows it before I tell him and will say, "I know I have been slacking. I will make it up to you." And he does. I also know when his love tank is low. His love language is physical touch. There are times when my schedule is so hectic that I am pulled in several directions and I have forgotten to fill his love tank. It is then that I must fill his tank. Recognizing your spouse's low levels and being able to fill them is important in your marriage.

So don't let complacency ruin your marriage. Continue to be alive in your marriage. Keep your spouse's love tank full. Continue to be romantic in your relationship. Love your spouse unconditionally even when they seem unlovable. And wives respect your husbands even when they seem undeserving of your respect.


Do little unexpected things for your spouse to show you care and to keep your relationship exciting.

Write them a love note, cook a special dinner, take them out, clean up the house, wash the clothes, write love notes on the mirror with a dry erase marker, love them.
Get up and do it now! Don't be complacent.

For Keeps Marriage Conference

Need rejuvenation in your marriage?
Need a break from the kids, work, & the stresses of life?
Need some fun and relaxation with your spouse?

Join us at the For Keeps Marriage Conference on Saturday, April 18, 2009 from 9am until 12pm.
Visit the website for more details.

God in Me

{On Saturday, March 21 I spoke at my church for our Women's Meeting and I wanted to share that lesson with the bloggers.}

The song by Mary Mary says
It’s the God in me.
You see her style you think she’s nice
You look at her whip you say the whip is tight
You look at her crib you thinking she paid
You look at her life you think she’s got it made
But everything she got; the girl’s been given
She calls it a blessing, but you call it living
When it comes to money she can be a hero
She writes them checks with a whole lot of zeros
But whatcha don’t know is when she gets home
And gets behind closed doors she hits the floor
And whatcha can’t see is she’s on her knees
It’s the God in me
You think I'm so fresh you think I'm so clean You think I'm so sweet
It's the God in me

Is it the God in you? Are we really striving to be more like God? Are we really working on having a relationship with God? Do we even know what that relationship looks like? We’ve gone through so many failed relationships that maybe we don’t know what a relationship is supposed to be like. We may not have had a good example of what a relationship is supposed to be. Maybe we came from a single parent home and didn’t have a relationship with our dad. Maybe we came from a two parent home but didn’t have a relationship with either parent. Maybe we were raised by another relative and didn’t know either parent. Our first experience with relationships usually begins with our parents. They are the most important people in our lives. But if we didn’t have a good example, then we may not know how to be in a good relationship now. Our past experiences usually shape our future relationships.

Webster’s definition of relationship is the state of being related or interrelated or the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship & a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings & then a romantic or passionate attachment.

So how do you have or commit yourself to a good relationship? First we need a good relationship with God, so we may have other successful relationships.

First, we need to seek God. Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; an all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)
Seeking God will not only make our relationship with God better, but it will also help our other relationships flourish. Because in seeking God; we won’t be seeking gossip. We’ll be so consumed in seeking God that we won’t have time to seek anything else.

Secondly, read the Bible. The bible is God’s way of communicating to His people. God talks to us through the Word. If we are reading the bible often we are listening to God speak to us. And when we do this often we won’t have time to listen to anything negative.

Third, we need to pray to God. Luke 18:1 says that men ought to always pray, and not faint. When we read our bible, God is talking to us; but when we pray- we are talking to God. If we are praying (or talking) to God always or often, then we won’t have time to talk about anyone else.

Then last, be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2). When we are not conforming to the world’s standards, we are being obedient to God. The world says it’s okay to have premarital sex. The world says it’s okay to talk about your fellow sisters and brothers. The world says it’s okay to not need a man because you can do anything by yourself. The world says it’s okay to come to church when you want. The world says you don’t have to pray, fast, or read the bible. The world says don’t trust God we were created by evolution. The world will have you believing that you don’t need to get your relationship right with God. But if we are transformed or changed with a renewed mind in Christ, our relationships on earth will be better because we will have a new heart, a new spirit, and a new mind.

A new heart that will truly love those around us. A new spirit that will pray for those around us. A new mind that we will think differently about those around us.

What is your relationship with God like? Do you seek God daily? Do you listen to God by reading His word? Do you talk to God by praying often? Do you strive to be more like God?

What is your relationship with your fellowman like? Do you seek to do them good always? Do you listen to them when they need a shoulder to cry on? Do you listen without judging and without telling someone else? Do you talk to them and give them Godly advice or counsel?

Are you ready to get your relationships in order? Then renew your relationship with God today. And then renew your relationships with others. Remember that we are not perfect and we may continue to fall while we’re working on getting it right, but don’t let your fall keep you down. Get UP!
Again, Mary Mary says:
Get up cause you can’t stop, Get up got a lot to do; 24 hours almost gone. Get up don’t sit there; get up if you wanna get there. Clocks don’t stop & time won’t wait.
First – seek God
Second – Read your bible
Third – Pray always
Fourth – Be transformed

Your relationships with others should be a reflection of your relationship with God.
When people look at you – they should be able to say: It’s the God in you!

The Perversion of Thought

The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. (Genesis 6:5)

Since the beginning of time, man has had wicked or evil thoughts. That is no different from today’s mankind. The problem is our perversion of thought can turn something not so bad into something evil and totally misconstrued.

For example, a wife who has had her heart broken can begin to get over her pain, but suddenly her thought process takes her right back to the very day she received her pain and her mental rotors start turning and before she knows it, she is ready to hurt somebody (preferably her husband). Or that husband who has had a bad day comes home and nothing’s been prepared for dinner gets extremely upset and his psyche tells him his wife is no good and does not love him.

The perversion of thought. Our minds work in mysterious ways. The mind is so powerful that it can create a movie in seconds, download a video in a minute, and play it back rewinding sections at a time to show the same scene over and over. Our minds can pick up an image and hold on to it for years or the same mind can scan an image and completely delete it from the files never to be seen again. How is it that the mind can work so well?

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. (Proverbs 18:21). Usually what is in our minds comes out of our mouths. So if we are not careful, we may say something we later regret.

So you may ask: how do I keep from having perverted thoughts? The answer is simple: keep your mind stayed on Jesus. But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29). By seeking God, you will be praying, reading your bible, fasting, spreading the good news about God, changing your heart, etc. The only way to revert your perverted mind is to keep it on Jesus. Keep Him everywhere you go. Keep Him on your mind always. And when perverted thoughts come up, rebuke them, and pray to God. Ask Him to help you.

Don’t let your perverted thoughts keep you from living peacefully.

Make a date!

You remember when you used to date? You would call up that person and ask them out. Why can't you date your spouse? You can!

Dating 101...

• Plan an evening, day, or morning date for your spouse (make sure their schedule is clear and babysitters have been arranged)
• Send them an email, text, or letter (or a simple phone call) and invite them on a date with you
• You may want to say, "I hope you don't have any plans, because I would like to take you to lunch, dinner, etc." or "Will you meet me for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, etc." or "I was wondering if you would like to meet me to watch the sunset or sunshine" or "I would like to take a walk with you this evening" (you get the point)
• Next make sure you have something you would like to talk about with your spouse - you can ask them a series of questions (and it's okay to have them written out); or you may have a riddle for them to complete; or a puzzle; etc
• Make sure you have stimulating conversation - make a point to talk about the things that interest your spouse (so women if you are making the date - talk about the things that interest him)
• Be cordial, polite, and kind, and respectful
• Plan a follow up date (kind of like a follow up appointment) "We will meet again same time, same place next week" or "See you when you get home for dessert" or "Next time I'll pick the place"
• Make the date memorable (you can do this by giving your make a token symbolizing the date - for example: a letter, a poem, a candy or real necklace, a candy ring, a flower, a bookmark, a book, a golf tee, a picture, or a small gift bag of little goodies (such as chocolate, potato chips, gum, pens, note cards, teddy bear, footies, etc.{check your dollar stores or corner stores}); some small token showing your appreciation for them)
• Take time to date your spouse - this is how you continue to grow in love with them and continue to get to know them
• And tune everyone else out while you are on your date; don't bring your cell phone or talk about the people around you; focus on your spouse

(I know we've talked about romantic ideas before, but it is important to continue to do these things. Life is too short. Don't take your spouse for granted. Go on a date).

~This is not just for the men, either. Ladies you can also plan a date for your husband. :)

It's the little things

Valentine's day has come and gone, but that does not mean that you have to stop being romantic. Take a look at the e-card I sent my spouse. All week before Valentine's day we were competing to see who could do the most creative and romantic thing. I started with a box of dove chocolates with personalized notes on each wrapper (courtesy of dove.com). He came back with a dozen chocolate roses from dove & a teddy bear. I received two dozen roses on Thursday. We continued to give cards and little notes and e-cards. Don't let Valentine's day be a day of the past or just something you do once a year. Make everyday Valentine's day! E-cards are free. Send one to your spouse today.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Love & Respect, part 2

Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

Respect part two. Wives you must respect your husbands. Again husbands are supposed to love their wives and we are supposed to respect our husbands. Well you may ask yourself, what does respect look like in a relationship? That question is what does respect look like in your relationship? Respect is different in every relationship. A man would rather be alone and unloved than disrespected. He values respect in a relationship over every other emotion or feeling. So how do you respect the man in your life? First, if you have no idea, you may want to ask your spouse. Find out what makes him feel respected and find out what things make him feel disrespected. Beware though! You may not like his answers, but LISTEN. Really listen to him. I suggest that you ask him when you have quiet time with just the two of you. And then practice what you've heard from him. Practice respect with your husband. Practice showing respect to your husband in front of others. Practice respect. Wife respect your husband.

Then beware again. When you begin to respect him, he will continue to love you. It is the crazy cycle that Emerson talks about: the husband needs to be respected in order to show love and the wife must be loved in order to show respect. So who breaks the cycle of unloving & disrespectfulness? Who cares. But wives if you waste time trying to wait on him to love you before you will respect him, then you are wasting precious time. If he dies tonight, will it matter who broke the cycle? I doubt it. But you will be sorry that you didn't take the first step. Break the cycle. Respect your husbands. Not only will you be loved, but it is a command from God- so if nothing else you will be obedient to God and that is reward enough in itself.

Respect your spouse.

Love & Respect

I want to revisit the Love & Respect concept (Ephesians 5:33) and the crazy cycle from Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Dr. Gary Chapman has discussed the five love languages for spouses. I want to examine the language of respect for the next couple of days. Webster Dictionary defines respect as an act of giving particular attention : consideration. We are going to examine respect as it relates to this definition.

What does it mean to give particular attention to or show consideration? Since the bible commands a woman to be respectful to her husband, I will be dealing with the wives on this respect issue (don't take it personal, ladies). Okay, back to giving particular attention or showing consideration. Well, when you pay close attention to something, you study it, you examine it, you take good care of it. Think about how you are with your children or other children. You watch their movements carefully, you cater to them, you make sure they have everything they need to be comfortable, you show consideration, kindness. Okay now think about that concept with your spouse. Pay close attention to them. watch their movements carefully, cater to them, make sure they have everything they need to be comfortable, show consideration and kindness.

It is impossible for you know about your spouse without paying close attention to them as well as communicating with them. Spend time with them, catering to their needs. Speak their love language; but most importantly-speak their language of respect. Well you might ask: "What about me? What do I get in return? What if they don't love me or respect me back? What if they don't receive it?" Philippians 2:3 says, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. When it comes to our spouses, we should not be selfish. Remember your marriage is not about you. Your life is not about you. Your marriage is about showing others the love God has for the church. You should be an example of that love. Your reward comes from God.

Respect your husbands. Love them. Show consideration for their needs. Pay particular attention to them. Do it today.

Ephesians 5:33, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

Patience

1 Corinthians 13:4 says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."

We are a society that wants everything fast. We microwave our food in 3 minutes. We drive 80 mph. We won't wait if the line is too long. We hate to sit at the doctor's office more than an hour. We won't leave a message if the voicemail takes too long to pick up. We can't wait for the weekend or vacations or just the next day to come. We go through online courses that take 8 weeks to complete. We rush through accelerated programs to get out in a hurry. We are a society that wants everything fast. But patience is a virtue.

Proverbs 19:11 says, "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

We must learn to be more patient. Patient with our spouses and all their inadequacies. We must learn to be patient with their love. We must learn to be patient. God does not work on our time. He works in His own time. Being patient with our spouses doesn't mean allowing them to use and abuse us, it means that we wait on God to work in their lives and in the meantime, we are patient. We are praying. We are protecting. We are providing. We are prevailing.

Look for opportunities to be patient with your spouse this week. Instead of expecting and wanting everything fast. Sit back and relax and enjoy the ride. Take time to smell the roses. Take time to see the sun rise. (If you haven't, it's a gorgeous sight.) Take time to see the sun set. This is also a beautiful sight. Take time to look for the good in your spouse. If you look close enough, you'll find something that they have of value to add to your relationship. Remember God is patient with us everyday. Be patient to others. Be patient with your spouse.

Be patient with them, God isn't finished with them yet.

Love & Respect (Dr.Emerson Eggerichs)

Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

In Eggerichs's book, Love & Respect, he talks about the Crazy Cycle that spouses get on in a battle for love and respect. Women want to feel loved and men need to feel respected. As our ministry begins to study this book, a few thoughts crossed my mind. I wondered if I am respectful to my husband (learning that my disrespect makes him react unloving). I also wondered am I able to identify times when I am being disrespectful or times when I'm about to be disrespectful and stop myself. It is important that as women, we embrace Ephesians 5:33 in it's entirety. It is a command from God. Sometimes, as women, we tend to think that just because we make more money, have the better job, have been independent long before we got married, or may not need our spouse financially- that we can say whatever, do whatever, and act however. The fact of the matter is God did not design us to be independent of our spouses. He (God) designed us for man, Genesis 2:18 says The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." We are the man's helpmate. We are to complement our spouses. I am not saying accept any and everything he does without recourse, but when you confront him-do it RESPECTFULLY. You don't have to put up with his horrible actions, but you DO have to respect him as a man. You do because God commanded it. You can also confront him respectfully without a condescending tone.

Men need to be respected. Give it to them and they will give you the love you need in return.

Receive Love

Your spouse is a gift from God. Receive them as such.

Can you imagine Adam refusing to receive Eve (a gift from God)? Can you imagine rejecting any thing God offers? Well when we don't love our spouses the way we are supposed to, we are in a way rejecting God's gift. God gives us companionship and what do we do with it? We talk down to each other, we talk about each other, we complain, etc. But if we were alone without a mate, we would complain about that. Enjoy the gift God has given you. Enjoy your spouse. Your time is limited on earth so make the most of every day.

Receive Love.

A New Year

Out with the old and in with the new. Don't bring the same stuff from your marriage into the new year. Make this new year - new, fresh, lovely, and special. Stop holding grudges with your spouse. Forgive and walk into the new year with a different perspective on your marriage. Walk into the new year with a different perspective on your life. Start this new year serving God with your heart, mind, and soul. Start this new year serving your spouse, loving your spouse, being one with your spouse.

No matter where you are in your marriage, there is no better time than the present to make your relationship wonderful. There is always room for improvement. Just imagine if your spouse died tomorrow. How would you feel? "Give the flowers while they are still alive." In other words, spend time with your spouse now. Love your spouse today. Give them gifts, love them, share with them, and treat them kind. Most times we only get one shot at true love. We must make the choice to love our spouses as if they are our only true love and that we will never get another chance.

This is it. Out with the old. In with the new. It's a new year. What are you going to do with it?

God centered

Where is God in your life? Is He the first person you think about in the morning? Is He the person you reference throughout the day? Is He the last person you say good-night to? Where is God in your life?

Where is God in your marriage? Is He the person you focus on to help you through your problems? Is He at the center? Is His Holy Spirit leading your marriage and your thoughts toward and about your spouse? Do you allow God to give you guidance or do you rely on your own resources?

To be God centered means to put God in the midst of your mess. All of it. The good, the bad, the ugly. God wants to see you through. If we leave God at home when we go out, then we are saying we don't need Him. If we read His Word and don't respond to it, then we are saying Lord, I don't care about what you are saying. If we pray without considering His Will, then we are saying, Lord I can handle it; I don't need your way. God must be considered at all times. He is the source of all we need. He is there to help us through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Leaving God at home, can be dangerous. Sometimes we feel as if we don't need to take God with us because we don't want to be convicted of our wrongness, but that's when God needs to be in the center. He can help us out of our pits of fiery furnaces if we put Him in the midst. God wants your marriage to be the best it can be. Allow God to be in the center.

How do I put God in the center? Communicate with Him daily.
When you read the Bible, respond to it by asking God for understanding, praising Him, or thanking Him for His Word. Then pray to God about the things on your mind. Continue to listen for His Voice to guide you throughout your day. Keep Him on your mind and in your heart constantly. Go to Him in pray continually.

Become God centered today!

Renewal

Renew your love life with your spouse. Make a date with your spouse. (and this is not just for the men - women, you too, can apply these tips in your marriage). Take your spouse to their favorite restaurant, sports game, for a walk in the park, or a romantic dinner at home. Let me give you a few tips:

Favorite restaurant - or any restaurant. Make plans ahead of time. Get dressed up. Invite your spouse with a nice little written invitation or a text message. Make sure they are able to go at the time you schedule the dinner date (so you won't be disappointed).

Sports game - if your spouse is a sports fanatic, get tickets to their favorite game and take them. If you can't afford the professional sports games; go to a high school game. Again make sure your spouse is available before you get the tickets. If you can't afford any game, plan to watch it on TV and prepare your spouse's favorite snacks for the evening.

Walk in the park or downtown - plan to go for a walk. Bring warm clothing for this time of the year. Bring a light picnic lunch, a blanket and find a quiet spot to sit and talk. Bring a favorite book (a marriage book or a poem book) to read to your spouse. Make sure the weather is not too cold and your spouse is available. As you walk, ask your spouse questions about their week, the day or what they are interested in. Ask where they see themselves in five years. What was their favorite date with you? What job would they love to have if they could work anywhere? What character from TV would they love to play? etc.

Romantic dinner - Plan a romantic dinner (don't worry if you can't cook - you can buy some food and serve it on dinner plates). Set the table, with candles, nice plates, cloth napkins (if you have them), wine glasses (even if you don't drink). Play some jazz or soft music. Dim the lights and light the candles. Serve dinner and talk about your marriage and love life. Concentrate on just the two of you. You might even want to slow dance in the living room afterwards.

Love your spouse. Renew your relationship. Show them that they are still special in your life. You should do this often. Renewal shouldn't take place only on special occasions. Renewal should take place at least twice a month. These are just some suggestions. Renewal can take many other forms. Write a poem or letter for your spouse. Run bath water for your spouse (with candles, cheese, grapes, etc). Place rose petals on the bed. Decorate the room with balloons and Hershey kisses on the bed. Clean the house for your spouse. Wash the car for your spouse. Renew your relationship. Love your spouse. They are a gift from God. Cherish their love.

Renew your relationship. Love your spouse.

God's Part, by Zina

Cupid shot an arrow,
aimed straight for your heart
to win love with a bow
was not God's intended part

He made marriage to be a show
for the whole world to know
that God has a love for His own
and through marriage, that love is shown

It's not about me; nor about you
God's love, grace, mercy, saving power
helps us deny self anew
and gives a fresh outlook of the hour

To cherish, honor, and forsake
A vow we should seriously take
for we make it in front of God and everyone
As we confess our love to become one
Do we truly understand what that really means?
Do we focus on God and use His Holy team?
Do we block out the world and their views?
Do we look to God for His Good News?

Cupid shot an arrow
aimed straight for your heart
to win love with a bow
was never God's intended part.

Weekend to Remeber Update

If you were unable to attend this weekend's marriage retreat; you need not to miss the next one. We have been enjoying ourselves tremendously this weekend, since Friday night. I do not want the weekend to end; however, Sunday is our last day. Thus far we have learned how to keep God at the center of our marriages, stay focused on our spouse's needs, make them a priority in our lives, and love unconditionally. We wrote a love letter to our spouses and I can truly say this is a weekend to remember. We shared, cried, and learned to love again.

Thanks to Familylife.com/weekend

Love as an action

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Love is an action, not a feeling. God loved the world - and in loving the world, He did something: gave! And not only did He just give something; He gave His ONLY unique Son (Jesus). That we might be saved. However, we are saved only if we believe.

So if God loves by action; we also should love by action. How many times have you told your spouse you love them? What was their reaction? In the beginning, it was probably cute, sweet, and a cozy feeling was felt. But as time went on, just saying I love you, gets old. Let me give you a few examples. A man beats his wife and then apologizes and says: "You know I love you." A spouse commits adultery over and over, but then claims that they are sorry and they love their partner. A woman spends all of her time away from home, but tells her husband: "I love you, baby."

"What do you know about love? What could you possibly know about love? You know, I'm sick and tired of men using love as if it's some disease you just catch. Love should have brought your *** home last night." (Boomerang)

I'm sick of tired of us throwing that word love around. Love is more than words. Love is an action. How do you show love? Go back to the first blog post. I listed several ways to show love by finding your spouses' love language and then speaking it. I'm revisiting love because God is love. 1 John 4:16: And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

Even when you examine the book, The Love Dare, by Kendrick; he gives a 40 day challenge to show love by doing something everyday. When you get a chance, go see the movie: Fireproof (it is only playing at the Cordova cinema in Memphis), but the movie gives you a glimpse of a failed marriage that seems irreparable until one spouse takes the love dare.

The challenge to love is loving someone when they don't show you love in return. As humans we base our love on conditions (and this should not be the case). This means that I will love you if you look good. Or I will love you if you have money. Or I will love you if you love me. We should have agape love. Unconditional love; the kind of love that says I will love you no matter what! I will love you even when you don't look good. Or I will love you when you don't have money. Or I will love you even if you don't love me back. I can't explain why I love you, I just do. I just love you. Make love unconditional with spouse (no pun intended). Do love. Love actively!