CPR is important in order to save the victim's life. But what happens when our marriage shows no sign of life? It's time for CPR...
1. Call for help. There are times when you and your spouse need a third party to help you resolve conflicts or get back on the right track (Titus 2:2-6). However, you should understand that you and your spouse are going to have to do the hard work of sustaining your marriage. Seeking outside assistance is just that - assistance. Other people cannot do the work for you and your spouse. El and I mentor couples all the time and that is the first thing we tell them; that we are here to guide you, but the real work and success will be determined by what you do after this meeting. El and I have had to seek help in the past. We also attend marriage conferences to keep our marriage tools sharpened. Marriage is work and there will be times when you need some assistance, but remember you and your spouse have to do the real work.
2. Pump the heart. The human heart pumps blood throughout the whole body. It supplies oxygen and nutrients to the tissues and removes carbon dioxide along with other waste. It is so important that it is protected behind the breastplate. Most people can survive injuries to other body parts; but if the heart is damaged, chances of survival are slim. In our marriages, the heart is where our emotions lie. However, in a lifeless marriage, it can feel as if the heart is damaged or dead. In order to resuscitate the heart, you will need to pump life back into it. You can do this by spending quality time with your spouse, speaking their love language, have meaningful conversations, listen intently to one another, and romancing your spouse. Sexual intimacy also plays a part in pumping the heart. A good way to give your heart an electrical shock is through sexual intimacy. You will also need to eliminate waste from marriage. Keep other people out of your marriage that mean to do harm (i.e. messy people, opposite sex friends, or family) [Mark 10:9]. Keep the heart of your marriage pumping vibrantly. Work on your marriage. Don't damage your spouse's heart. Safeguard your marriage and your spouse's heart.
3. Resuscitate. Resuscitate the marriage by putting God first in your marriage (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Your marriage will remain lifeless until you place God in the center. Placing God in the center doesn't mean just saying He is in the center. Your actions should show that He is in the center. How much time are you spending with God? Having Him in the center does not mean that you only talk to God on Sunday or when you are in trouble. It also doesn't mean that you only read His word during Sunday School or Bible Study. A relationship with Christ is ongoing and the more time you spend with God, the more time you'll want to spend with Him. As I've stated before, you can't pretend to have a relationship with God; you must have a real relationship! Does having a relationship mean that everything will always be wonderful? No, never! El and I still have conflict and we still get angry at times; however, the difference is now we don't stay angry for long and we resolve our conflicts quickly. We practice unconditional forgiveness and we are quick to forgive (Ephesians 4:32). We don't hold grudges and we share our feelings. We are transparent with each other. We pray together. We invite God in the midst of our marriage in every situation and occasion. God is the only one who can revive your marriage! You can't do it alone! Seek God (Matthew 6:33) to resuscitate your marriage.
Have you and your spouse had to resuscitate a lifeless marriage? If so, what tools did you use? If your marriage needs resuscitating, perform CPR now. Don't wait until it's too late. Every second counts. Don't wait until your lifeless marriage is completely dead. Resuscitate it now!
Stay tuned for the final part, part 4: keeping the love alive.
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