Tuesday Tip #6 (Early Release): The Lost Art of Dating Challenge!

**Please read below for the dating challenge**

When was the last time you and your spouse went on a date? ...If you are still thinking, then it's been too long! On your last date, did you and your spouse talk or sit in silence? Unless you went to the movies or a play, you should not have been sitting in silence. Today's tip will help you rediscover the art of dating.

El and I have had a standing date night every Saturday for the past five years. We rarely cancel this night unless we have a wedding or some other event to attend (in which we usually attend together). We usually go out to eat (but there are a slew of other things you can do). We like to go out to eat because we like to talk and look at each other across the table. We also like to talk in the car on the way to the restaurant and on the way back home. So you may be asking, what is there to talk about or why are we doing so much talking? Communication is a way of building intimacy and also a way of staying connected to your spouse. Many couples allow days and months to go by without receiving or giving vital information about what is happening in their lives. How tragic is it to find out something about your spouse from someone else? Two people should not be living in the same house and not know what is going on with the other person unless you're just roommates. And God did intend for our marriages to be this way (Gen. 2:24-25). 

Furthermore, there's plenty to talk about. El and I talk about our love tanks and how we can improve our relationship. We talk about our sex life to make sure we are pleasing each other appropriately. We talk about things that may be bothering us; whether it is things we need to start doing or stop doing. We also dream together. For example, we may explore what life will be like in five years or if we won a million dollars-what we would do with the money. There is always something to talk about with your spouse. There is always something else to explore with your spouse. Never stop learning your spouse. Never stop dating your spouse. And women, your husband does not always have to plan the date (I know you may be shunning me). But you can plan the date and ask your husband out. You can even pick out his clothes and drive him to the restaurant (or date). Even if you feel your husband never plans the date, you can still continue to plan it and then at least you'll go out and you know it will be the date you want. Then pray that your husband will begin to start planning the dates. 

So your tip this week is to go on a date. It doesn't matter who plans it or where you go; just do it! And then your follow up challenge is to have a date at least 4 times a month (or more) this year. Let's make it interesting...post pictures from your dates on Instagram or Facebook and use the hashtag #ezdates 

If you need some date ideas, do a Google search for great dates. Here are a list of resources that might help as well:

• 10 Great Dates (there are a few series) by the Arps
• 40 Unforgettable Dates with your Mate by the Rosbergs
• thedatingdivas.com website

And remember - 

• it doesn't matter who plans the date
• it doesn't matter what you do or where you go
• don't kill the mood by being ungrateful (you may want to check the episode of Blackish "Big Night, Big Fight")
• don't criticize
• be kind and loving
• enjoy the time together and don't forget to share your pictures

Also, it's nice to go out with another couple. So occasionally, El and I will double date or go out with several couples. Find another couple(s) that you and your spouse can double date with on occasion.  

Enjoy your dates!

-El & Zina

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