Drink water from your own cistern…

 A friend of mine came to me with a complaint. She wanted to know why single women seem to not care about making advances toward married men. Even if the man has stated that he is married and not interested, she continues to disregard this and pursue the husband. As my friend was talking about her dilemma, I immediately thought about the term “thirsty women” and the need to drink from your own cistern. We are unable to control another’s behavior; however, we can deter their behavior. If our spouses ignore advances from the opposite sex, this is typically a pretty good determent. Fish don’t usually bite if there is no bait. However, there are some thirsty people and ignoring them does not satisfy their dry mouth. In fact, it makes them thirstier. So you have to make sure you put on the whole armor of God and guard your spouse’s heart. Don’t think for one second that the enemy is just going to let you ignore him without a second, third, fourth or more attempts. He doesn’t give up so easy. That’s why we need to always be on guard. 

Proverbs 5:15-21 tells us to drink water from own cistern and enjoy the wife of your youth. Husbands, you have chosen a wife and God has given you a gift. Why would you reject this gift by sharing your body, heart, or mind with someone else? Another woman can make all the advances she wants, but you have to be a willing participant to entertain her (the same can be true for a wife dealing with advances from another man). Why would you trade true intimacy for a cheap thrill with a thirsty person? And don’t think for a moment that God is not watching you. If you are the person making advances toward someone else’s spouse, you are wrong. God knows your every step and He is not happy.

Husbands and wives, as you drink water from your own cistern, remember these things:

1. Cherish your spouse. Your spouse is a gift from God. After we (El and I) went through the trial of adultery, El started calling me his GG; short for God’s Gift. He acknowledges that our union is not a 'fly by night' union; it is a union that God has put together (Mark 10:9). El cherishes his gift and so do I. We realize that God has placed us together for a purpose and we are honored to fulfill that purpose with each other. This means we have to cherish each other and not take each other for granted.

2. Don’t take your spouse for granted. Enjoy your spouse and appreciate the gift that God has given you. It is easy to get into a routine of your daily rigmarole and forget to give your spouse the attention they need. El and I make sure we spend time together every evening recapping our day and reconnecting. We also make time at least once a week for a date with just the two of us to spend some quality time together. We speak each other’s love language and encourage each other often. Make sure your spouse feels appreciated by you so when they go out into the world they aren’t seeking approval nor is anyone else able to make them feel better than you make them feel. 

3. Build intimacy with your spouse. There’s nothing more special than intimacy with a couple. A special bond that only the two of you share. Intimacy can be built in many forms: spiritual, sexual, emotional, and mental. When you and your spouse share several different forms of intimacy, there is a deeper bond between the two of you. Make time to build intimacy with your spouse daily. Share devotions together. Read God's Word together. Spend time together. Talk and listen to each other daily. Have sex often. Dream with each other. Love each other hard.

Drink water from your own cistern and leave those thirsty people to draw from their own wells. They are not your responsibility; your spouse is. If you continue to neglect your spring wells, you may very well find them polluted. Make sure you drink from your own barrel.