Gen 2:24-25 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.(NIV)
Once you've released forgiveness and started rebuilding trust, you can begin to restore intimacy. Restoring intimacy means being open and vulnerable (don't confuse this with weakness) with one another. Allow your defensive walls to come down and share intimate details of your life with your spouse. If intimacy was not there before infidelity, then take this time to build intimacy. Here are some tips to help you restore intimacy.
1. Pray together. One of you can pray aloud for both of you or you can pray silently together. Pray for healing and pray for a better marriage.
2. Study the Word together. A good place to start is Ephesians 5. Get a study bible or a commentary and read verses together and discuss how you will apply those verses to your everyday life.
3. Listen to a Podcast together. My husband and I usually spend Sunday mornings (while getting ready for church) listening to Podcasts as part of our morning devotion. Then we discuss them and how they relate to our lives. Suggestions for Podcasts: Marriage Today, Jimmy and Karen Evans; America's Family Coaches on OnePlace.com, Gary and Barb Rosberg; Together in the Word, Gary Chapman; there are many more.
4. Communicate with one another. Spend some quality time, face-to-face with your spouse communicating. Turn off the TV, the phone, and close the computer and look in your spouse's eyes. Actively listen to them and respond to their comments. Communication is not one sided. Both parties have to talk and both parties have to listen and this cannot be done at the same time. Also show interest in your spouse's conversation. Your spouse will not want to share with you if he/she feels you are not interested in what they are talking about. Remember, infidelity usually occurs because one person feels devalued in the relationship (this is not an excuse; however, if you don't listen to your spouse, someone else will).
5. Touch each other often. Physical touch builds intimacy. A simple back rub, holding hands, a kiss, or a hug can make a person feel special and that they are important. Make touching a priority; even if you're not a touchy-feely person, make a point to touch your spouse often.
Restoring intimacy requires being in tune with your spouse. Studying them and knowing their likes and dislikes. Make your spouse a priority and restore intimacy in your marriage today.
*Take the 5 Love Language assessment and find out you and your spouse's love language. Learn to speak your spouse's love language often.
What do you think? On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being not so good and 10 being awesome...where would you say your intimacy level is in your marriage? If you said 5 or below; which of the tips above can you start doing today to improve intimacy in your marriage? Leave a comment. Which of these five tips are you willing to commit to this week? Or share what you're already doing to improve intimacy.
Stay tuned for the final part: Renewing Purpose
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