DAY 13 of 30 Day Challenge

"I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me." (Song of Solomon 7:10)

The sexual relationship. It's one of those elements--along with money and children--that can derail a marriage through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy, but encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond.

Let's get practical here. Is your husband a "good lover?" Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage.

In moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you focus on something wonderful about your husband. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you. His desire is toward you.

Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways.

Dear Lord, help me to appreciate my husband as a lover. Make our marriage bed one of great satisfaction that my desire is only to him and him alone. Help to see my husband as a beautiful creation from You and to tell him that he is a great lover and mean it. In Jesus' name, Amen.

The Adjustment Bureau

I was watching a movie the other night called The Adjustment Bureau. I had already seen the previews, so I knew a little bit about the theme of the movie. It is about a man who is running and leading for senate but something in his past surfaces (which could keep him from winning) and he his numbers begin to plummet. Then he meets a lady and instantly they fall in love, but he doesn't get her name or number. However, he runs into her again on a bus and this time he gets her number. This is where the adjustment bureau comes in to change his fate or destiny because he can't be with this woman. He is supposed to eventually run for president; and she is eventually going to be a world renowned ballet dancer. But if the two of them stay together, they will crush each other's dream...because basically they will want to spend all their time together and not pursue their goals with as much effort as they did before. Sound familiar?

Well all of this made me think about the adjustments in our own lives. How sometimes we take a detour instead of going the same way home from work and we avoid an accident. Or we are running late for work and we avoid traffic. Or we decide to go to this particular gathering and we meet our husband or wife. Or we choose this store to shop in and we meet our new best friend. Chance occurrences, surprise meetings, fate, destiny...or God?

When we're really in tune with the Holy Spirit (our adjustment bureau), He will guide our footsteps and tell us when to go left, when to go right, when to keep straight, when to stop. He will keep us from that big accident, that traffic jam, from the wrong husband or wife. The Holy Spirit will help us become who we are destined to be: senator, president, cashier, store clerk, student, counselor, teacher, fireman, postal worker, coach, professional ball player, etc. In the movie, the adjustment bureau's job was to keep David and Elise away from each other and to get David's life back on track to be president; but they weren't able to control David. But that's not the case with our God. God is always in control...however, sometimes He allows us to do what we want...like the children of Israel from this week's Sunday school lesson. (They were disobedient when God told them to kill all of the Canaanites, but they didn't and they began to worship the gods of Canaan (Baal and Ashtaroth)and upset God so much that the hand of God was upon them for evil. Read the story in Judges 2 when you get a chance). But sometimes God allows us to do what we want and then when we get into trouble, we tend to call on Him. But again when everything is fine, we seem to forget Him.

This movie made me think about our relationship with God and how important it is to have one. I can't begin to tell you how many mistakes I made because I didn't listen to the Holy Spirit. I know that He has always talked to me and you have heard Him too, but thought that you should have followed your first mind (that was the Holy Spirit) but if you are not in tune with Him, His voice is real faint and you can barely hear Him. It's that inner voice that tells us when we're doing wrong...when we're going the wrong way...when we need to go this way or that way...when we need to help someone...when we need to speak to someone...when we need to listen to someone...when we need to be obedient. How many times have you had a conversation with a stranger and afterwards, you thought "Wow, I needed that!" Jesus promised us a comforter and that comforter is the Holy Spirit (John 14:26) And because of our disobedience; we are sometimes put into situations where we're unhappy and calling on God about our situation. But God wants you to check with Him before you make decisions that will cause you grief. Most of the time, we don't have to check with Him...if we just read our manual (the Bible) then we will know what to do in many situations because He has already told us and He has given us examples of people who were in the same situation and how they conquered or failed and their consequences. God has given us everything we need to survive in this world, but many of us don't take the time to read the manual (in fact I wrote a blog about reading the manual - that we read a manual for our car, for putting together a bookshelf, for fixing a leak, etc. but we won't read our manual to know what we are to do).

Okay, back to the movie- how many people have you met over the years and later you thought...that was supposed to be husband or my wife but you let them get away and now it's too late? Or maybe you were like the characters in the movie - they decided no matter what; they were going to be together and they took that chance? We don't have the luxury to see into the future like this couple; but we do have a God that can give us the wisdom to know who is right and wrong for us. We don't need the "adjustment bureau"; we have our own: God; Jesus; the Holy Spirit. Do you need an adjustment? Have you talked to your adjustment bureau lately? Have you read the manual lately? Do you need an adjustment?

DAY 12 of 30 Day Challenge

"With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love." (Ephesians 4:2)

Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise your husband for. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart?

Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Proverbs 13:12). It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it's simply that we expect too much in some areas.

Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others.

How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing.

Lord, help me to find positive things to say about my husband. Help me to put my expectations in You and not in my husband. Help me to understand that he is not able to fulfill all my needs and that only You alone can do that. But sometimes it is hard for me to grasp this idea. Help me to be mindful of this and to turn to You when my husband does not fulfill my needs. Thank You. In Jesus' name, Amen.

DAY 11 of 30 Day Challenge

Day 11

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22)

Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands--especially by speaking evil of them to others--show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission.

Men respond to women who respect them. What do you respect about your husband? Part of that respect includes submission to his authority. Let your husband know how respecting him makes it easier to submit to his leadership. Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together.

If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder . . . nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nurtured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership . . . "as to the Lord."

Lord, help me to remember my husband as the leader of our family. Help me to respect him and submit to his authority as he submits to You. Thank You for a husband that is leading by example and following God's example. Thank You, Lord for my husband. In Jesus' name, Amen.

DAY 10 of 30-day Challenge

Day 10
"Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant!" (Song of Solomon 1:16a)

We all crave appreciation. We want to know that we are valued and loved. Early love letters probably reflected your admiration of your husband, but if you're not careful, your spouse will forget why you were drawn to him. If you still have any of your old love letters, re-read them for clues to deepen your current level of appreciation for your spouse.

When we spend time criticizing our husbands, we lose time that could be spent
admiring them. As you consider various ways to encourage your husband, ask, "How can I admire him?"

Does your husband know that you think he is attractive? What was one of the
characteristics in your husband that first drew you to him? Was it a physical
characteristic, or something else?

Was it his gentle, compassionate eyes? Kindness or concern for others? An easy-going confidence? A steadiness that comes from trusting in the Lord? Strength of character in a culture that lacks integrity? Do you see at least a glimpse of that characteristic in him today? Whatever it is, tell him!


Lord, remind me of how attractive my husband is and help me remember his love for me. Help me not to take him for granted. Help me to admire him and lift him up. In Jesus' name, Amen.

DAY 9 of 30-day Challenge

Day 9

"Be swift to hear, slow to speak . . ." (James 1:19b)

We are often so busy speaking that we don't take time to listen. We are so quick to offer a comment--negative or positive--that we don't really "hear" our husband's heart. Remember, we have two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen more!

As you continue in your 30-day challenge, hear the Lord's admonition: "Be swift to hear."

If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself. See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question. If your husband notices the difference, explain that you are learning to listen more--not only to God, but also to him.

One easy way to express admiration for your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys, and then listen to his response. If it's an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn't know, then tell him, "Wow, I didn't know that!"

***
Okay, Ladies is this a hard one for you? We all like to talk, but let's just listen.

Lord, help me to listen to my spouse more. Help me to really pay attention to what he is saying. Help me to focus on him completely when he is talking (and not doing something else - while listening). Thank You that I have a husband that is willing to talk to me. In Jesus' name, Amen.

DAY 8 of 30-day Challenge

How are you doing with the "30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge"? In case you've forgotten, here's the challenge:

* You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband, or to anyone else.

* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your husband and to someone else.

"But who can find a faithful man?" (Proverbs 20:6b)

Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Do you understand how important this quality is? Your challenge is to continue to root out all negative speaking, and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed at what will grow.

Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and spiritual commitments. Appreciate your husband's faithfulness--how he is loyal to you. Let him know that you are glad he has "stick-to-it-iveness" in your marriage. Appreciate his faithfulness to God.

If you have an unfaithful husband, this is a difficult area for you. Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage faithfulness in your mate. The Bible says that husbands may "be won by the conduct of their wives" (1 Peter 3:1b). You may also want to seek counsel from a mature, godly individual or couple.

Lord, I pray that you will keep all temptation away from my husband. Help him to remain faithful to his vows and to his wife. Give him a way of escape when he is tempted. I thank You for his faithfulness to me and our family. I thank You that I have a husband that is committed to me and only me. In Jesus' name, Amen.

DAY 7 of 30-day Challenge

Day 7

"Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease! For riches certainly make themselves wings." (Proverbs 23:4, 5b)

"That I may cause those who love me to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries." (Proverbs 8:21)

Money is the root of much marital discord. Ask yourself, "Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances?" Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead.

Does your husband handle finances wisely? Does he make good financial investments, based on biblical principles? Does he have a budget? Does he make wise decisions about purchases--checking many sources before he buys? Is he a good steward of his money before the Lord? Let him know how much you appreciate his strengths in financial matters.

If he is weak in this area, encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he's open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or, if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before you make decisions that will affect him.

***

Ladies, it has almost been a week... how are you feeling about the challenge? Are you being an encourager? Hopefully you are staying on track. Remember this is about the time that you want to journal your progress and your thoughts. I am sure that each of you are doing an excellent job! Keep it up!

Lord, I come to You again...to say thank You! Thank You for a wonderful man of God, one who knows how to handle our finances and is not frivolous with our funds. Lord, thank You for a man who takes care of our home and supports our family. And Lord, if my husband is struggling in this area, please bless him that he will do better. That he will be the husband You have called him to be and that he will be a good steward over our finances. In Jesus' name, Amen.

DAY 6 of 30-day Challenge

Day 6
"Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." (1 Corinthians 10:31b)

Do you recognize and appreciate your husband's creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God.

Is your husband the "creative" type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special "knack" he has? Affirm him for his handiwork--a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, etc. Remember: Even if he doesn't measure up to your standards, praise his efforts. If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent.

If you have a hard time finding his "creative side," understand that men's creativity sometimes is related to their work. Find something he does to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work, and let him know that you have noticed.

Make his day--Praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening.

Lord, You made my husband - and I am thankful. I thank You for his creativity, for his gifts, and for his love. Thank You, Lord for making such a wonderful creation for I know that all things work together for good to them that love the Lord (Romans 8:28). In Jesus' name, Amen.

DAY 5 of 30-day Challenge

Day 5

"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." (Ephesians 4:29)

Another way to describe the positive side of this "30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge" is by using the word "edify," which means, "to build up." Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build.

Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important with other family members.

Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband's mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him--in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have.

Dear Lord, remind me that my husband is special and a gift from you. He could have chosen any woman, but he chose me. Remind me that our marriage is a gift and help me to edify him always despite his flaws and weaknesses. In Jesus' name, Amen.

DAY 4 of 30-Day Challenge

"Let him labor, working with his hands what is good . . ." (Ephesians 4:28b)

We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here's a suggestion that touches the core of your husband's world.

Some women take their husband's career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.

If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc.

Father God, help me to accept my husband for who he is and to accept his career. Help me to show my appreciation by not adding to his stress. Help me to not take his career for granted. Show me ways that I can be appreciative and build him up. In Jesus' name, Amen.

30-Day Challenge DAY 3

Day Three
Love suffers long, and is kind. (1 Cor. 13:4)
And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ
Jesus. (Phil. 4:19)
Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge,
determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband.
Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement.
If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank
him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to
be both tough and tender.
Sometimes it's difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender—especially if he hasn't had
role models in these areas. If he's not a considerate person, appeal to him for help
without complaining. Let him know that it's hard for you to handle some things alone.
Then, when he moves in to help, don't insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is
responding, and express your gratitude.
Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc.
Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.

Ladies, I know you are doing a great job with this challenge. I hope by now since it's the weekend that you have had a chance to journal a little and record your thoughts, your changes, your demeanor, or your husband's changes. Maybe he's wondering why you have been so nice the last couple of days. Hopefully this not too out of character for you.

Father God, we come to tell you thank you for blessing us with a wonderful husband. Help us not to take him for granted and to appreciate even the little things he does such as taking out the garbage, getting my car washed, calling me throughout the day, going to work, & for loving me. Thank you that you've allowed me to wake up every morning and find he is still living and beside me. I know that there are some women that have lost their husbands, thank you Lord for allowing me to spend more time on earth with mine. Help me to continue to be a blessing to him, daily. Thank you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

30-Day Challenge DAY 2

Day Two
Through love serve one another. (Gal. 5:13b)
How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your
husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say
something negative? We hope you're off to a good start. (If you blew it, don't give up - start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them.

Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help
around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget
allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't
think it's part of a "Honey Do" list!
Maybe your husband's not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go
first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength.


Okay, Ladies - this is day 2! If you didn't do so well yesterday, that's okay. Dust yourself off and try again!

Father God as we struggle with our own shortcomings, give us strength. Help us to understand that our husbands will never be able to supply all of our needs - that's Your job! But give us comfort when they fall short and help us to still be what they need even when they are not being what we need. And Lord, be swift to pick up the slack so we won't even notice that they haven't met our needs. Thank you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge© Revive Our Hearts. Used with permission. www.ReviveOurHearts.com
Info@ReviveOurHearts.com

30-Day Challenge DAY 1

Day One
The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does
him good and not evil all the days of her life. (Prov. 31:11-12)

To refresh your memory, here's the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge for the next 30
days:
 You can't say anything negative about your husband . . . to your husband . . . or to anyone else, about your husband.
 Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband . . . to your
husband . . . and to someone else, about your husband!
To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for choosing you above
all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though
many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that
you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.
One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a "wake up call" that he'll never forget—a big "I love you" and an "I'm so glad I'm your wife!" and you may want to add: "I respect you"!

Suggestions for creativity with this: instead of just saying it; write a letter to him expressing this. Write it on pretty stationary and place it in a matching envelope and spray a little perfume on the letter (not too much, you don't want the ink to run). If you don't have any stationary - don't let that stop you, write it on notebook paper or computer paper. Then slip the letter underneath his pillow or in his pants pocket or his lunch (that you prepared). Be creative! Have fun with this!


So what are your thoughts? Day one doesn't seem too hard. Take a deep breath...exhale...now go encourage your husband (or significant other). You can do it! You can do all things through Christ that has strengthened you. (Philippians 4:13)

Father God, please bless every woman reading this post and completing this challenge...give her the strength and compassion to be the wife you've called her to be. Let her light so shine that men will see and that You will get the glory. Allow her to be a blessing to her husband and help her to build him up and not tear him down. In Jesus name, Amen.

Are you up for the challenge?

I was reading Every Woman's Marriage, by Shannon & Greg Ethridge, last night and I had to get a few bandages for the cuts I sustained while reading. I was reminded that I have fallen short in my marriage in the way I handle situations, my attitude, and my conversation. There was a part in the book where the wife explains how she was working in all these different ministries at church and her husband only worked at his job - he wasn't involved in any ministries at the church and she wondered why, so she asked him why he wasn't more involved in ministry like she was. And do you want to know what he said? He told her that when he married her, God told him that she would be his ministry...and until further notice he was not to have another one. Ouch! You mean marriage is a ministry? Yes it is... and a very lucrative ministry (it may not bring you financial revenue, but the profit you gain is great in comparison). If this husband had been involved in different ministries at church and if he worked a full-time job, then when would he have time for his wife? She would probably not be happy with that situation either. She realized that his working 50 hours a week - provided time for her to be a part of different ministries without having to worry about going to work, taking care of a family, and being a good wife. That, basically he supported and provided for them while her job was taking care of the home and doing ministry. She then began to be thankful for his non-involvement in other ministries.

Sometimes we can be so caught up in doing church business that we forget about our families. How can we be effective ministers to others outside our home, if we are neglecting those inside the home. How can I minister to a couple about their relationship and the time they spend when I haven't invested that time in my own relationship? Our marriages are to be examples to the world about God's love for the church; but if our marriages don't reflect that image, then the world is getting the wrong picture. This husband clearly understood his role as a husband and knew his role in ministry. How many of us can say the same? Wives do you know your role as a wife and in ministry? Do you know when you are doing too much outside the home and not putting that same energy into your spouse? The bible says we are to be helpmates (Gen. 2:18)- this encompasses many areas: encourager, builder, lifter, supporter, lover, server, forgiver, respecter, encourager. (Don't get bent out of shape with some of these titles) God has called us as wives to reverence our husbands (Ephesians 5:33b); let's start by encouraging them. The best thing you can do for a man is to let him know you got his back. That when the world has failed him, you won't. That when the world has let him down, you'll build him back up. Pick your husband up! Don't let him fall; because when he falls...you fall - you are one flesh.

So I am challenging the wives to step up this month (starting July 1) and minister to your husbands. I am giving you a challenge. And that challenge is to encourage your husbands for 30 days! You can't say anything negative about your husband, to your husband, or to anyone else. I know what you're thinking - wow, 30 days - that's a long time; but he is worth more than 30 days...this should be a life time commitment. But I'm also challenging you to keep a journal (for your own personal use) about how you feel, how the process is going, what are some changes you see in your spouse, what are some changes you see in yourself, etc. And then finally if you want to post comments or share anything (as long as it's not negative about your husband), please feel free to do so. You can post comments here or send them to my email: godsunion@comcast.net. And lastly, I will encourage you! I know this won't be an easy month for some of you who accept the challenge. But know that I will be praying for you and your marriages every night. I will try to post the challenge every day and words of insight and encouragement. But you will not be alone. There will be a host of other women and we'll be connected spiritually through our journey. And God will be with you - allow Him to work through you and don't forget to go to Him daily for yourself, your marriage, and for strength. I love you and I look forward to hearing from you. Share this information with other married women, engaged women, or women in relationships.

It's time to build up our men! Are you up for the challenge?

For information, go to Revive Our Hearts or click on the title of this post above.

Marriage Conference with New Hope Enterprise

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Convenient Christianity

Why are so many Christians or (non-Christians) turning to other religions? Or why do you think people don't take Christianity seriously? Maybe it's because we are practicing Convenient Christianity... you are a Christian when it's convenient for you. For example, you are a Christian on Sunday during church service because you know someone is watching; you are a Christian on Wednesday during Bible Study; you are a Christian when someone at work mentions they are a Christian too; you are practicing Convenient Christianity!

So when do you read the Word of God to have His statutes embedded in your heart? How often do you pray - having intimate conversation with God and not just, "God is good, God is great, let us thank Him for our food, Amen", or "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep..."? When do you practice Godly wisdom and are you able to be Godly in the face of adversity? How often do you witness to others either verbally or non-verbally? Do you have a real relationship with God; one that is not flaky, one that is rooted in faith and trust--where you believe God enough to not only save your soul, but also pay your bills? Where is your faith?

Do you pursue obedience to God or slavery to the enemy? Are you walking with God or running for the devil? Is God your father or are you the son of lies? Where is your loyalty? Are you a Christian; a child of God; joint heir with Christ everyday, every hour, every minute, every second? Or do you put on the mask of Christianity when it suits you?

Is this too much for you to think about right now? Am I asking too many questions? Are you feeling guilty about your Christian walk? Sorry to inconvenience you...

Are you working? (I Go to Work, Part 2)

Little did I know that my last post would end up being my mantra and that I'd be singing it even when I didn't want to. Shortly after posting the blog, I went to work and I went to work hard. Just a quick run down of my schedule: I work five days a week, teach aerobics 3 days a week & work out 2 more days other than that, attend bible study 1 day a week, attend church service 1 day a week, attend class 2 days a week (yes I'm back in school), cook dinner at least 2 days a week, study every day of the week (whether it's for school, Sunday school, marriage ministry, or hospitality ministry), conduct a marriage meeting twice a month, have a hospitality meeting once a month, date night once (sometimes twice) a week, pillow talk at least 3 times a week, wash clothes, grocery shop, and I'm sure I'm leaving something out... have I made you tired yet? ...I go to work.

I don't say all of this to make it seem as if I want sympathy. I say this to call your attention to the date night and the pillow talk. No matter how busy your schedule gets, don't forget your spouse. Everything in life is work... but your marriage is work also. I feel energized to get away for a few hours with my husband once a week. And even though I may be exhausted at night, the pillow talks are so refreshing and informative. It's like pulling out your PDA and reviewing your schedules so you keep each other abreast on upcoming events. Throughout the day we make it a point to talk to (or text) each other even if it's just a few minutes at a time. Steal some time for your spouse. Pencil them in your PDA. Make your marriage intentional.

I ask again, are you working? Now are you working on the right things? Break time is over! Get back to work.

"I Go to Work"

The famous rapper, Kool Moe Dee, released his third album entitled Knowledge is King in May of 1989 where the song, I Go to Work appears. This rap song explains that what Kool Moe Dee does (rapping) is actually a job, contrary to popular belief. In this song, his lyrics state that he puts a lot of effort into his writing; making the analogies between rapping and being a doctor, an architect, and a boxer. That he is very much skilled in what he does and if you think that this is not a job, think again, rapping is very much work for Kool Moe Dee. I don't write, I build a rhyme...And if it's weak when I'm done; renovate and build another one... ...You wanna know my occupation? I get paid to rock the nation. Very powerful words by Kool Moe Dee twenty years ago.

Well marriage is work... It may not seem like a real job, but it is. Parenting is work... School is work... Life is work... Relationships are work... Serving God is work... Are you working? As long as it is day... Night is coming when no one can work. (John 9:4). Anything in life worth having is work.

On your job, if you don't work, you don't get paid and you may get fired. You can't sit around and expect the work to get done on its own.

Being a parent is work. Children have needs at every stage of their lives. At birth they need close supervision and care. As a toddler they need guidance and love. As a preschooler they need nurturing and instruction. As a preteen they need sheltering and quality time. As a teenager they need guidance and correction. As an adult they need advice and a listening ear. Parenting is work.

School is work. You go to school twelve plus years, do homework, complete projects, write papers; only to graduate and do it all over again in college. But learning should be an ongoing process for the student as well as the person not in school. School/learning is work.

Life is work. We're conceived, struggle to get here, grow into adulthood, experience failures and successes, meet good and bad people, make mistakes, etc. But it's all a learning process and it's all work.

Relationships are work. You have to work at being a friend: being considerate, saying thank you, I'm sorry, are you alright, what can I do to make it better, etc. Being in a committed relationship is work. The relationship doesn't mature on its own. You have to work.

Serving God is work. You can't just be a pew rider. You have to get involved and stay involved. You have to come to bible study, not just Sunday service. You have to read the Word yourself. You have to pray often. You have to live Godly. You have to be obedient to the Word. You have to witness to others. Serving God is work.

Marriage is work. You can't just say "I do" and then "don't". You have to work. "I do" means: I do and will love you. I do and will encourage you. I do and will respect you. I do and will make our house a home. I do and will work to make our marriage a Godly marriage. I do and will accept you just as you are. Marriage is work.

Are you working? If not, get busy!
Gotta go ...I got work to do.

Common Courtesy

Hello. Good morning. Thank you. You're welcome. Excuse me. Please. Is there anything you need? How are you? I miss you. You look nice. I appreciate you. I'm sorry.

There is nothing wrong with a little common courtesy. We learned it grade school. We practiced how to be courteous and cordial. We apply it on our jobs. Why can't we use it in our homes, with our spouses, with our children, with our friends, and relatives?

So many times we take each other for granted and assume we don't have to be courteous because "they know we love them" or "they know how we feel". Your spouse does not know how you feel unless you show it. And what better way to show it than with words and deeds. Let them know that you do appreciate them for preparing dinner. That you are sorry for not calling when you were going to be late. That you do miss them when they are away. That it is a good morning every time you wake up next to them.

Common courtesy - basically the little things you do to make your loved one feel special. It only takes a moment.

Scenario One:

Husband: "Honey I just called to let you know that I was running late and that I should be home before 5pm".

Wife: "Thank you for calling. I really appreciate that. I'll keep your dinner warm."

Scenario Two:

Wife: "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to wash your gym clothes. I will try to get to it by the weekend."

Husband: "That's okay. I know you've been busy. I thank you for thinking about me."

Scenario Three:

Wife: "I'm going in the kitchen, is there anything I can get for you; another dinner roll; some more tea?"

Husband: "Oh sure, I would like some more tea, please."

Scenario Four:

Husband: "Good morning, beautiful."

Wife: "Well hello to you to."

Common courtesy. It only takes a moment. It lasts a lifetime. Safeguard your spouse's heart. Be kind. Be courteous. (Ephesians 4:32).

**It's also okay to use this courtesy with friends, relatives, & people who cross our paths. :)

Thank you.