Join us 10.15.16!

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Marriage Conference 2016

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You're all I need...

Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson

What is your idea of marriage? Have you thought about what your marriage would be like? If you are married, did your marriage turn out like you planned? Did you pray for a spouse? Did God answer your prayers? Have you been a good example of a godly woman/man?

I've wanted to be married for as long as I could remember. I thought about the kind of wife I would be and what my life would be like as a married woman. When I was dating, I remember praying and asking God if the person I was dating at that particular time would be my husband. God always told me "no". There were even times when I tried to bargain with God. But thank God His answer was still no! ...Until I met El. Sigh, deep breath. Thank you Lord!

When I would pray for a husband, I would ask God to make this man a God-fearing man. A man that would serve and love Him, for I knew if this man loved and served God, he would definitely love and serve me. I didn't talk specifics about the way I wanted this man to look because that was insignificant. I didn't ask for him to be rich or make a lot of money because that was irrelevant. Appearances fade and money can go away. I did ask that he have a good relationship with his earthly father and would know how to be a good husband and father himself. Then, after dating a while and having a child out of wedlock, God sent El! What can I say about El...hmmmm let me see. Well, at first, he didn't seem to be my "type". He was a jock. I didn't date jocks - basketball or football players because I didn't want a popular guy. He was younger than me by 4 years. I didn't date younger guys. At least not that young. He was 20 when I met him and I didn't think he was mature enough to be a father. However, El was all I needed! He had a wonderful relationship with his own father which made him a wonderful father to CJ. He wanted to be a better man and he was willing to get back in church...the start of a relationship with Christ. I learned not to put God in a box. I was looking for something else, but God had sent my husband and he was right in front of me. El said when he first saw me, he knew I would be his wife. He didn't even know me. How did he know that? But he said he knew. He said he told his father that day, that he met his wife! And he had a girlfriend at this time, but he knew I was his wife! Wow!

Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson

It would seem to be the start of a great relationship. El and I became best friends. We talked for hours. We spent all our free time together. However, when El and I first got married, we really didn't know how to be married. We knew some of the basics. We knew we wanted to become one. We joined bank accounts. We didn't use the word "stepdad". We shared household chores. I cooked most nights and we ate together. We were intimate. However, we didn't know how to communicate effectively. We argued and yelled a lot. We didn't know how to resolve conflicts in a healthy manner. We didn't know how to love each other properly. And most importantly, we didn't have a real relationship with Christ.

Why am I saying all this? Because many of us want to be married, but don't know how. Even those of us that are married, aren't experiencing true joy. I mean the joy of wanting to be around your spouse all the time just because you like them. The joy of wanting to love on them. The joy of experiencing love. The joy of just being in the same room and smiling because they are there. The joy of syncing your schedules and planning time to be together. The joy of talking throughout the day and then some more when you get home. The joy of true love! The joy of liking your spouse! Most of us aren't experiencing this kind of marriage. Most of us don't know how to experience this kind of marriage. Most of us are married, but the meaning of this word is distorted. Basically, it means that we are roommates. We share the house, but we don't share the bedroom. We don't even share the bills. You pay your bills and I'll pay mine. In fact, sometimes we don't even share the same sink!

Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson

El and I didn't have it all together when we first got married. In fact, we still don't have it all together. But what we do have are the tools to obtain a better marriage. However, the tools are worthless if we don't actually use them. We've learned to use the tools; therefore, we are learning to get it together. There's one thing I know for sure...El is all I need. I don't have a need or a desire for anyone else. I can't even imagine myself with anyone else. He's just my type. Just for me! I love spending time with him. I can't wait to get home to him everyday. I don't like being away from him. I have a peacefulness with him. He's all I need! And everyday I am learning how to be the wife he needs and I am praying that he continues to be the husband I need.

Get the tools and use them so you can have the marriage God wants you to have. So you will have all you need in your spouse.

You can start by joining El and I on October 15, 2016 at 9am for our 2016 Marriage Conference. It's Free and open to all married, engaged, seriously dating couples, and singles. Register HERE! This event has ended. Please stay tuned for upcoming events.

Photo courtesy of Keith Jefferson

Speak Kindly

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