Friday, January 29, 2010

Stubborn?


In the book of Exodus (starting with chapter 7); Pharaoh shows his stubbornness. He is unwilling to let God's people go after several miraculous signs were performed by Moses at the hand of God. God allows Moses' staff to become a snake, HE sends the plague of blood, frogs, gnats, flies, livestock, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, and a plague on the firstborn. Pharaoh continued to keep God's people in captivity; agreeing at first and then changing his mind when the plague was released. (When you get a chance, read these chapters in Exodus, starting with chapter 7). It wasn't until something really drastic happened that Pharaoh agreed to let God's people go.

The same is sometimes true with us. We are severely stubborn until God does something really drastic in our lives. We are having an affair, but won't stop until we are caught (and some won't stop then-if we think we can be smarter next time) and have the risk of everything taking away from us. We are not committed to our spouse; but more committed to our jobs. It is not until we lose our jobs, that we realize we've neglected our spouse. We are not committed to God and His purpose for our marriage; but our commitment comes and goes as we go through trials and tribulations and HE continues to bring us out. It is not until something drastic happens that we are snapped back into full commitment. We are verbally abusive to our spouses; but it is not until they leave, that we understand the error of our ways.

Why are we so stubborn? We know right from wrong. Most of us have been raised to have at least been taught that. Those of us who are Christians, we have a greater sense of responsibility. We know more than right from wrong. We know God's way is the only right way (even when it doesn't make sense).

The word stubborn means unreasonably or perversely unyielding : mulish : justifiably unyielding : resolute. Think about those words for a minute. Unreasonably or perversely unyielding. You have no reason to justify your stubbornness; you just are. Think about Pharaoh. He didn't have a good reason for keeping God's people. He had seen the miracles performed and one miracle should have been enough for him to let the people go. (Of course God wanted the Egyptians to know that HE is almighty and that it was HIM and not Moses performing the miracles - so there was a method to the hardness of Pharaoh's heart). But with us, most of the time, we just want to do what we want to, when we want to, how we want to, and with whom we want to. Usually God hasn't hardened our hearts; we just haven't opened our hearts to God completely. We're wondering why we aren't being blessed like we should; because we are stubborn. We're wondering why we can't hear God's voice; because we are stubborn.

Pastor Ray taught a sermon in Bible study a few weeks ago from Psalm 37:1-7. We should take heed to listen to the commands of God (not requests or suggestions - but commands). Specifically around verses 3-5; God commands our trust, delight, and commitment. HE is not asking us, God is telling us. Verse 4 - tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Well, most of us want the desires of our heart; but we don't want to delight ourselves in the Lord. And Pastor was explaining when we delight ourselves in the Lord, our desires WILL CHANGE. We won't want the same things we wanted before; we'll be in line with God's will for our lives. So why are we stubborn? I think that for many of us, we just want the freedom to do whatever without consequences. But the problem with that is that isn't freedom at all. That's the enemy's way and his way is bondage. Our freedom comes with doing it God's way. We have to dismiss all the things we've been taught about what makes us happy, successful, rich, loved, etc. We have to realize that happiness is temporary (it depends on what's happening); joy is what we really need and that comes from God. We have to realize that success is not how much money you make, or the car you drive, or the house you live in. Success comes from God and HIS standards. If we acknowledge it came from God and it's not ours then we won't be selfish with things or kill ourselves working to get things. We have to realize that riches are from God. They are not in our paycheck. Love comes from God. When we accept HIS love for us; we can then begin to really love others (especially our spouses).

You're not missing anything when you submit to God. Stop being stubborn. Surrender to God. Your life will be so much better. Let's not end up like Pharaoh. Stop being stubborn.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

What can I do to make it better?



Romantic Rendezvous, by John Holyfield (jamesloveless.com)





Wife #1: "I had a really hard day at work. My students failed the test I thought they were better prepared for and my principal said I didn't turn in my paperwork on time!"

Husband #1: "What can I do to make your day better?"

Husband #2: "The car quit on me today and my check was short because I missed two days of work!"

Wife #2: "What can I do to make it better?"

Husband #3: "I'm tired of working outside. The temperatures were below freezing last week. I wish I could quit my job!"

Wife #3: "What can I do to help make your situation better?"

Wife #4: "I'm tired of staying at home with the kids. I never get to talk to any grown ups and the laundry seems to never get done!"

Husband #4: "What can I do to help?"

All of these scenarios have one thing in common: The response of the spouse. "What can I do to make it better?"

How many times has your spouse openly confessed their feelings and you shot them down with a negative response: such as "everybody has a hard day at work; suck it up"; or "why was your check short and why did you miss two days of work"; or "I'm tired of working, too; why don't we all quit and be homeless"; or "if you did all the laundry on Saturday, you would have this problem on Monday and don't you have any friends that you can talk to".

Most of the time, your spouse really doesn't want a solution, a smart comment, or a rebuttal. But they do want your sincere expression of love and care. When you ask, "What can I do to make it better?" many times the response will be something like this: "just rub my feet or hold me - I'll be alright"; "I'll get the car fixed, Tony knows this mechanic that will fix it free"; "just help me find my insulated gloves - you know I'm not going to quit my job"; "can you just help me fold this last load and talk to me about your day". Your spouse just wants to know that you got their back; that you will be there when times get hard; that you will love them unconditionally - even if they didn't have a job; that you will be there. Your spouse needs reassurance that you're in their corner.

So the next time, your spouse has what you think is a complaint just ask them if there is anything you can do to make it better. And then try to do it. If they say: rub my feet or kiss me or help me fold the clothes - do it. How much energy does it take to make our spouses day a little less stressful. With all they are dealing with in the world; let them come home to peace.

And watch out for their reaction. They won't be expecting you to say: "What can I do to make it better?" They may think it is a trick. But you will be surprised how your spouse will just melt when asked this question. Let your spouse know that you really care...

What can I do to make it better? that is the question!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Temptation














Samson and Delilah by Alan and Aaron Hicks jamesloveless.com

This week's Sunday School Lesson deals with the devil tempting Jesus after His forty day/night fast. Matthew 4:1-11. There are three things evident in this temptation. #1 - the lust of the flesh; #2 - the pride of life; & #3 - the lust of the eyes.

In our marriages, we have to make sure that we don't yield to these temptations. Remembering that God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear and that He always offers an escape. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13. Temptation is basically wanting to do our own thing; instead of being in God's Will and doing it God's Way.

Think about that for a moment...you are tempted everyday in every walk of your life. When you get to work in the morning and someone makes you mad; instead of doing what is right (God's way), you want revenge or to hold a grudge. When that handsome/pretty office assistant smiles at you (and you're married); instead of doing what is right (God's way), you want to get a number, go to lunch, or maybe even more. When your spouse is not being loving/respectful; instead of doing what is right (God's way), you treat them unloving or disrespectful-knowing you are to be obedient to the Word of God (Ephesian 5:33). When your children are seeking your attention; instead of doing what is right (God's way), you continue to ignore them because you're busy or tired. When your pastor asks for your tithes; instead of doing what is right (God's way), you think the money is going to be used for the pastor's new house, so you don't give anything. (Malachi 3:10).

How many times during our lives do we continue to do things our way and not God's way? Why is it so hard to do it God's way? He gives us an escape (1 Corinthians 10:13). His Son has already been victorious (Matthew 4:1-11). His rewards are greater than the world's (Mark 10:29-30). God's way is the only way. Let's not yield to temptation. We can still have a wonderful life without corruption and a sinful nature(John 10:10). In fact, we will live fuller lives doing it God's way.

Remember to keep your mind stayed on God, and when temptation is facing you - pray and seek God as a way of escape.

God Bless.