Monday, February 23, 2015

Who's in your circle?

A conversation starter about your inner circle. Join the conversation. Leave your comments below. 



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Monday, February 16, 2015

GUMM Videos: Coming Soon

Coming Soon.... GUMM Productions! El and I are taking our blog to video. We'll still bring you written blogs but we'll also include video blogs. Stay Tuned for more information and watch the trailer below.

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Friday, February 13, 2015

Tuesday Tip #6 (Early Release): The Lost Art of Dating Challenge!

**Please read below for the dating challenge**

When was the last time you and your spouse went on a date? ...If you are still thinking, then it's been too long! On your last date, did you and your spouse talk or sit in silence? Unless you went to the movies or a play, you should not have been sitting in silence. Today's tip will help you rediscover the art of dating.

El and I have had a standing date night every Saturday for the past five years. We rarely cancel this night unless we have a wedding or some other event to attend (in which we usually attend together). We usually go out to eat (but there are a slew of other things you can do). We like to go out to eat because we like to talk and look at each other across the table. We also like to talk in the car on the way to the restaurant and on the way back home. So you may be asking, what is there to talk about or why are we doing so much talking? Communication is a way of building intimacy and also a way of staying connected to your spouse. Many couples allow days and months to go by without receiving or giving vital information about what is happening in their lives. How tragic is it to find out something about your spouse from someone else? Two people should not be living in the same house and not know what is going on with the other person unless you're just roommates. And God did intend for our marriages to be this way (Gen. 2:24-25). 

Furthermore, there's plenty to talk about. El and I talk about our love tanks and how we can improve our relationship. We talk about our sex life to make sure we are pleasing each other appropriately. We talk about things that may be bothering us; whether it is things we need to start doing or stop doing. We also dream together. For example, we may explore what life will be like in five years or if we won a million dollars-what we would do with the money. There is always something to talk about with your spouse. There is always something else to explore with your spouse. Never stop learning your spouse. Never stop dating your spouse. And women, your husband does not always have to plan the date (I know you may be shunning me). But you can plan the date and ask your husband out. You can even pick out his clothes and drive him to the restaurant (or date). Even if you feel your husband never plans the date, you can still continue to plan it and then at least you'll go out and you know it will be the date you want. Then pray that your husband will begin to start planning the dates. 

So your tip this week is to go on a date. It doesn't matter who plans it or where you go; just do it! And then your follow up challenge is to have a date at least 4 times a month (or more) this year. Let's make it interesting...post pictures from your dates on Instagram or Facebook and use the hashtag #ezdates 

If you need some date ideas, do a Google search for great dates. Here are a list of resources that might help as well:
  • 10 Great Dates (there are a few series) by the Arps
  • 40 Unforgettable Dates with your Mate by the Rosbergs
  • thedatingdivas.com website
And remember - 
  • it doesn't matter who plans the date
  • it doesn't matter what you do or where you go
  • don't kill the mood by being ungrateful (you may want to check the episode of Blackish "Big Night, Big Fight")
  • don't criticize
  • be kind and loving
  • enjoy the time together and don't forget to share your pictures
Also, it's nice to go out with another couple. So occasionally, El and I will double date or go out with several couples. Find another couple(s) that you and your spouse can double date with on occasion.  

Enjoy your dates!
-El & Zina

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Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Tuesday Tip #5: Sexual healing, the art of touching

**Warning** this post may not be suitable for children. 

Halle Berry & Michael Ealy from Their Eyes Were Watching God
The post some of you have been waiting on...SEX! But before you get too excited and explode before time (pun intended - lol); let me talk about the lost art of touching. Touching your spouse can be so invigorating. A simple rub down the leg can send chills. A tight hug can ease ailments. A long kiss (with tongue included) can make you moist. Touching comes in many different forms. Think of all the places you can touch your spouse. **Pause** (Okay, I'm back). Think of all the places your spouse can touch you. **Long pause** (Okay, I'm here). 

This week's tip is simple: Touch your spouse and allow them to touch you! Touch your spouse every day!! Every. Day. Touch. Your. Spouse. Ask them what touches they enjoy the most and make an effort to touch them there often. Let your spouse know that you want them to touch you as well. All this touching should lead to something else. 

Coming soon - Video tips for single, engaged, and married people. 
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Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Tuesday Tip #4: Devotions: Not just written words anymore!

Ever wanted to start a good marriage devotion but weren't able to stick with it? Or maybe you didn't have the time to sit and read a devotion every morning or evening? Or maybe you haven't made the time. 

But there's good news! Devotions are not just written words anymore, so your devotion can go with you everywhere you go - in the car, at work, while grocery shopping, while waiting at the doctor's office, or wherever. Instead of reading your devotion, you can listen to it or view it. Since most of us have our phones everywhere we go, we'll always have access to our devotion. What a great way to use our time wisely!

This week, we just want to give you a list of some marriage resources to help you find a good marriage devotion and then challenge you to listen or view it every day this week and discuss it with your spouse.

1. Podcasts - If you have an iPhone, you can download podcasts directly to your phone via iTunes. Here are a few that El and I listen to:


If you do not have an iPhone, you may be able to listen to most of these online or via iTunes on the computer. 

2. Videos - Here are a few videos that we watch and discuss:
We also want to give you some written resources or links that offer information about marriage conferences or other resources you may find helpful. 
1. God's Union Website (El & Zina) - Events page
2. 5 Love Languages website 
3. Start Marriage Right
4. You Version Bible app (has several marriage & other devotions)
5. The Marriage Coaches (just came across this one)
6. Black and Married with Kids 


These are just to name a few...however, there is a wealth of knowledge to gain about marriage and not just marriage, but Christian marriage. Enjoy! 

We hope that you will find something this week that you will enjoy together or separately and discuss together. Just as we attend workshops to improve performance on our jobs; we need to brush up on marriage tips to improve our marriages. 

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