The book of Deuteronomy deals with the people of Israel around the time Moses led the people out of bondage and into freedom under God's guidance. This book also talks about much of the people's disobedience to the Lord and how they repeatedly disobeyed God, grumbled and complained, questioned God, and even wished that they were dead or back in slavery in Egypt. Eventually Moses joined the people and sinned against God as misery can be contagious. The people were right on the outskirts of their promised land, when Joshua and Caleb agreed that the land could be taken over and that God was with them. Once the Israelites were finally in their promised land, God told them not to conform to the people of the land. He told them that after they take over the land, that they were to still hold on to God's statutes. But the people again disobeyed God. So even though they were literally out of the wilderness, they were figuratively still in captivity; and eventually they were taken captive by the Babylonians because of their disobedience.
Are you in the wilderness in your marriage? Are you wandering aimlessly not really knowing how to get to the promised land? Are you reacting to your spouse's emotions, instead of being proactive? Are you being loving and respectful? Are you filling your spouse's love tank on a regular basis? Are you praying for your spouse and with your spouse daily? Are you reading the Word of God and responding to God's Word daily? Are you in the wilderness?
Sometimes we know exactly what to do in our marriage to keep our spouses content, but we fail to do it. Sometimes we know exactly what buttons to push to make our spouses upset, and we do it often. We need to see our spouses as God does. Think about it. How many times do you make mistakes and want God to forgive you? Probably every moment of the day. God loves us with an unconditional love. No matter what we do or have, God loves us. His grace and mercy is new everyday (Lamentations 3). So why can't we love our spouse like God loves us? By human nature, that may be impossible; but spiritually and with God's help, it is quite possible.
As El and I embark on new missions to save marriages, we are encountering couples that seem to be in the wilderness. They are just going through the motions of being married but they are really wandering. On the outside everything seems okay. They smile, nod at the right time, hold hands when they think someone's looking, they finish one another's sentences, they appear to be the perfect married couple. But they're in the wilderness. God can't save them because they don't want to be saved. They want to stay right where they are. They want the stage to continue to be their backdrop. They need the lights and the camera to perform their next scene. We used to be one of those couples. We put on the makeup before we left the house and in between scenes we did a touch up or changed clothes for the next part. What's good is that God brought us out of the wilderness, but not until we wanted to come out. We were just like the Israelites, we complained, grumbled, and questioned God. Why is this happening to me? Why me, Lord? But most of the turmoil we had brought upon ourselves by being disobedient to God. Not doing what His word says to do. Trying to do things our own way. Until we poured out our heart to God and repented for sinfulness (selfishness, unforgiving hearts, disobedience), we couldn't be content. We were wandering aimlessly with face paint. God restored our marriage and stripped us naked (thanks Zenobia for that word) to each other so we weren't ashamed to be exposed. God allowed us to really see Him and each other. He allowed us to see the gift He had given us (each other). And we allowed God to really step in our marriage and be the head, the guide, the center, the everything.
I don't know about you, but if you are anything like the Israelites, I'm sure you don't like being in the wilderness. Even though they grumbled and complained, it was their fault that they were in the wilderness because of their disobedience. Don't be like the Israelites, disobedient. Live your life according to Christ's. Get out of the wilderness. Allow God to move your marriage to the promised land, a land flowing with milk and honey. Trust God today and get out the wilderness.
